This is a story about Emma, a trans girl, mostly told by her mother. I first saw this on Suzan’s blog at http://womenborntranssexual.com/2013/06/22/emma-60-minutes/. After the video I have posted “grades” for the parents and the media regarding their behavior and apparent attitudes. (Preview: The media passes, but barely.)
The parents get an A+ for being totally supportive of Emma and honest and open about their experiences with Emma’s transgender status, particularly in such a public forum. The only fault I found with the mother is her reference to Emma not being “normal,” although this may be a language difference (there is a substantial difference between American English and Australian English)—she may have meant “not conforming to the ‘norm’ or the average, in which case she would be using “normal” as a statistical term.
Oh, where to start? The media gets a passing grade for covering the story at all, not over-sensationalizing and not acting like total morons. However they need to:
- STOP misgendering Emma by referring to her as a “boy.” Emma has never been a boy. She has ALWAYS been a girl.
- STOP misgendering Emma by referring to her as the parents’ “son.”
- STOP misgendering Emma by referring to her by her birth name. Her name is “Emma.” Have some respect and call her by her name. Do YOU like people calling YOU by an incorrect name?
- STOP, STOP, STOP misgendering Emma by using incorrect pronouns, and
- *F*F*S* it is not “in her her head.“ Emma’s gender as a girl is real and it’s not going away. Is YOURS?
As I mentioned, I should have given the media an “F” for these behaviors. I begrudgingly gave them a passing grade for covering the story, not being totally insensitive and not being complete assholes—only partial ones.
In 2009, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force found that more than 97% of transgender individuals had experienced some form of harassment or discrimination at work [and] 47% had been fired, denied a promotion, or refused a position because of their gender identity [number formats edited.] http://www.thetaskforce.org/downloads/reports/fact_sheets/transsurvey_prelim_findings.pdf
This post, about the transition of Risa Bear while a librarian at the University of Oregon, is a followup to my post “The Power of Pronouns.”
The Pronoun Problem
“It started with a bathroom,” says Risa Bear, retired University of Oregon librarian.
When her bosses learned that she had begun her gender transition, they assigned her a key to the locked, unisex, management bathroom for nearly eight months. They did this to avoid any questions or stares that would make co-workers feel uncomfortable. However, after months of sprinting the 0.8 miles across the library to the management bathroom, Bear decided that it was her time to visit the ladies’ room.
Sitting in a faded green rocking chair one year into retirement, Bear smiles and sips her tea, always aware of where the closest bathroom is. In 2006, at the age of fifty-seven, Richard Bear became Risa after undergoing genital surgery. Despite the tilted heads, cocked eyebrows, and questioning voices, Bear acknowledges that she was among the lucky few to keep their jobs while transitioning.
Dr. Jillian Weiss, a professor at Ramapo College who transitioned at the age of thirty-seven, explains that being fired is the biggest fear when an individual decides to transition.
“We spend so much time at work that this business environment transforms into a social organization,” says Weiss. “Even in a great work environment, it typically takes at least a month for people to adjust to the notion of their co-worker taking on a new identity.”
Bear emphasizes that it was because of the support of those around her that her transition was so smooth. She explains that many of the negative comments she could have heard from students or visitors of the library were deflected by a close group of friends and co-workers who continuously looked out for her.
“I had 300 friends before I transitioned, and 300 friends after I transitioned,” says Bear.
She kept her friends by being someone that other people wanted to know. No matter her gender, Bear was a friend to those around her.
In 2009, the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force found that more than ninety-seven percent of transgender individuals had experienced some form of harassment or discrimination at work. Forty-seven percent had been fired, denied a promotion, or refused a position because of their gender identity.
However, Weiss explains that in the last decade, these trends have begun to shift. Since 1982, gender identity protection laws have begun sprouting in states in order to protect individuals from being fired because of their gender identity or sexual orientation.
“It’s not right for someone to be fired because of their gender identity,” says Weiss. “If you think about it, everyone is a little transgender. A woman who works on cars and a man who likes to cook, they are both transitioning across the lines of [stereotypical] gender roles.”
Nevertheless, discrimination because of gender continues. In 2009, a federal judge ruled that Special Forces veteran Diane Schroer be compensated with $491,190 in back pay and benefits, emotional pain and suffering, and out of pocket expenses for the discrimination she faced for being a transgender person. This ruling penalized the Library of Congress for refusing Schroer a job when she announced that she was transitioning from male to female.
From the media to the government, Bear explains that transgender individuals are given the lowest amount of civil rights. In fact, “We’re no longer people, we’re objects,” she says. “If you want to make people feel like they have no rights, like they don’t even belong in society and have no right to ask to be treated like equals, start by telling them that they are less than human.”
According to Bear, the vast majority of people are accepting of transgender people. Once they have the opportunity to meet and work with a transgender individual their stereotypes disappear. However, until that time, they often know very little and assume that whatever stereotypes presented by the media and other outlets are true.
“People tend to not have an opinion,” says Bear. “The opinions they do have are generated from shows like Cops.” Bear explains that the comical representation of transgender people, large men stumbling in low-cut dresses, paints a very harmful picture.
While people are beginning to take the situation seriously, Bear emphasizes that right now, transgender individuals need “media outlets that will present people for who they are and what they do rather than what they are.”
However, without the necessary steps, transgender people still face fierce discrimination in and out of the workplace. In Illinois, the discrimination of transgender people proceeds far beyond the cubical. Victoria Kirk and Karissa Rothkopf sued Illinois for not changing their gender on their birth certificates. Still, the state explained that this was difficult because both women had their surgeries performed by doctors outside of the United States.
Whether navigating the impressions of others or lessening evidence of physical differences for the workplace, Bear explains that there is always a barrier to be broken.
Bear began her career at the University of Oregon while still Richard. However, when she decided to transition, she began leaving her co-workers subtle signs of femininity—a pair of earrings or a barrette in her hair. Bear recalls the evening of August 7, 2003. It was after a day of dressing up and taking pictures that Bear ordered her first set of pills. When she began to take estrogen, she also began to transition.
In 2006, Bear proceeded with her Real Life Test, a psychological examination to ensure that one is ready to change genders and fit into a new role. In Homecomings, Bear’s blog, she recalls a difficult segment of the transition process—changing psychologists three times to find one sympathetic to her experience.
“He inquired into my childhood. He listened to my vocabulary, enunciation and phrasing,” she writes of one psychologist. “He watched my body language. I had a feeling I was not feminine enough for him.”
After completing the required number of sessions, Bear requested a surgery. She flew to Miami where there was a surgeon who was competent, yet affordable. Post-surgery, Bear grew her hair longer and began wearing dresses that covered most of her still slightly masculine figure. Bear explains that she knew that she would never be a “beautiful woman,” but would rather settle for an “old lady.” However, she began to allow herself to wear makeup and jewelry outside of the house, in order to make her new persona more apparent to the public eye.
“I realize this makes me sound a little shallow,” Bear says. “But, I was always afraid of being seen as grotesque.”
Upon returning to work, Bear found that her colleagues were very supportive. Rarely did she encounter conflicts. The “pronoun problem,” as Bear refers to it, is one of the most hurtful mistakes that people make when working with a transgender person. This is often a slip of the tongue, when someone uses “he” instead of “she,” or vice versa.
“It’s the kind of mistake that crushes you and leaves your confidence on the floor for weeks,” Bear says as she chokes back a tear.
Weiss, however, takes a more moderate position to this issue. She explains that transgender individuals need to understand that it’s a transition for their peers as well. It takes time for the mind to adjust to new names and pronouns.
Bear suggests approaching a transgender co-worker in a gentle way with a simple variation of the question: “What pronoun would you like me to use?” She adds that this practice is done throughout the University of Oregon’s Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and Questioning (LGBTQ) groups and is very successful.
As a transitioning counselor, Weiss is often asked to assist companies when an employee is transitioning. When doing so, she breaks the process into three main steps.
First, she pulls all company records and policies to ensure that they are transgender friendly.
“There are so many sensitive issues that need to be changed,” explains Weiss. “And it’s not the transgender employee’s responsibility to educate their employer on the issues.”
Instead, Weiss looks at bathroom policies, paychecks, changing names on payroll, emails and much more to ensure a smooth transition.
Next, Weiss holds an intensive training for management. She talks to them about what it means to be transgender and how the transition will affect their employees. Weiss prepares management to be supportive while not changing the working environment. An ideal employer, according to Weiss, is one who seeks outside resources to aid in the transition. Hiring a human resources consultant to work specifically with the transition, or doing research that takes pressure away from the transgender individual helps show support.
Finally, a similar training is held for co-workers.
“This session is more casual, allowing everyone to ask questions and understand that the transition won’t affect their work environment.”
Weiss explains that often colleagues ask questions in good faith, but enter very personal territory that the transitioning individual may not be comfortable answering. These questions include asking what sort of surgery or medications they are using. Rather, it is appropriate to be inquisitive about how this will change their relationship with the transgender individual, not about the details of the transition itself.
“People are usually curious about what they should do if a client calls for Mr. Smith, but Mr. Smith is now Ms. Smith,” Weiss says.
These are issues that Weiss helps associates navigate and practice. She stresses that within the first month, most kinks are worked out and by the end of the year, pronoun and name changes are hardly even a conscious effort.
“It wouldn’t be the end of the world if you asked the transgender individual ‘why’ he or she is transitioning, but remember that when someone’s at work, he or she is just trying to do the job—regardless of gender,” she says.
Lonnie Sexton, a colleague and friend of Bear’s, says that as Bear gained confidence in her new identity, she became a role model to others. Sexton explains that Bear is an individual who is even tempered and has always been a joy to be around. She also speaks of Bear as a role model for students. “Those [students] grappling with transgender identity could look to [Bear] as a model of a smooth transformation. She has confidently integrated her transformation with other aspects of her life—work, friendships, and family.”
Throughout this process, Bear says that her peers were aware and supportive of her decisions.
“Risa, keep your knees closed,” repeats Bear in recollection of the best advice an associate ever gave her.
“I knew and liked Richard Bear as a co-worker,” says Sexton in reference to the transformation. “However, I was not very close with him. I was interested in his poetry, and we exchanged pleasantries, but that was the extent of our relationship. On the other hand, I have become very friendly with Risa Bear. It’s interesting that she is the same person, but I definitely relate better to her as a woman. This says more about me than her.”
“There are a lot of rules about transitioning—I broke them all,” Bear says with a chuckle. However, she advises everyone about to delve into their own transition to invest in a nice set of thank you cards and Hershey’s Kisses. “Express your gratitude and show appreciation when people are nice to you,” says Bear. She explains that her own gratitude paid off greatly when people would stop by to give her a hug or when a woman would pause and whisper “welcome” to her.
What is the real reason the head COCKroach in charge doesn’t want trans women at RatFest?
A Rose By Any Other Name…
…Does Not ALWAYS Smell as Sweet.
I first started writing about transgender issues on Facebook when I wanted to provide some basic guidelines for cisgender people regarding how to talk to and about transgender issues. In my very first post I stated:
While a small number of people use the word “transsexual,” they are in the minority; it is considered offensive by many and the word “transgender” is generally the appropriate word to use… See “‘J’ and Some Definitions,” in this blog, originally published on Facebook on April 13, 2012.
I’ve learned considerably more about trans* issues since then, one issue of which is the split between people who refer to themselves as “transgender” vs. those who adamantly refer to themselves as “transsexual” and insist that they do not fit under the “transgender umbrella.” (see below.) Apparently it’s a big political issue that has not only caused divisiveness in the LGBTI community, but there is now a huge chasm in the trans* community as well, with some individuals attempting to force their labels on others and attempting to create a hierarchy regarding who is “really” trans*.
Transgender is an umbrella term that includes different types of gender variant people (including transsexual people) so transgender women could, for example, refer to either a woman who was assigned male at birth, identifies as a woman, but does not wish to undergo physical changes, or a transsexual woman. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Trans_woman
I completely disagree: Transsexual/transgender, intersex , androgyne and polygender people do not belong in the same category as cross-dressing and transvestite people; furthermore, the entire concept of a cisgender person deciding to categorize and label people without their consent pisses me off. None of these groups should be lumped into a single category because they are completely DIFFERENT from each other.
In my last post I addressed the Power of Language. That post specifically addressed pronouns. I believe that respecting people’s preferences regarding labels (if labels are needed at all—I personally despise labels) is just as important. This is what I got when I posted my feelings about this on the facebook page “Boycott GLADD’s and AA’s T-Shirts: ‘Transsexual Will NOT be Censored.’“ My response follows:
MY FIRST COMMENT:
WOW. Just like many disenfranchised groups, it is amazing that anything gets done with all of the infighting.
First of all, in the US, people who dress in clothes of the opposite sex part-time are referred to as “transvestites,” not “transgender;” although there are some who place transvestites under the transgender “umbrella,” they don’t belong there.
Second, all of the people I know who refer to themselves as “transgender” have a medical condition that requires medical treatment—some have been able to afford the surgery, some not yet—but they ALL are what you define as “transsexual.” IT IS JUST A FLUCKING WORD. I fully understand why you want to differentiate yourselves from cross-dressers, but saying that people who use a different word to describe themselves WHEN THEY ARE JUST LIKE YOU (which may, in fact, be cultural in origin, based on geography and/or age) is divisive and destructive.
Third, the psychiatric diagnosis “Gender Identity Disorder” was created so that people can get the psychiatric evaluations necessary to ensure that only individuals whose gender is truly in conflict w/their physical bodies get treatment and that they are making an informed decision (and able to give informed consent). As a licensed mental health professional I KNOW that transgenderism/transsexuality is NOT a mental disorder, but there has to be a billable psychiatric diagnosis or insurance companies will not pay for these evaluations, pure and simple.
Forth, while some transgender/transsexual people I know refer to the discordance between body and gender as a birth defect or medical condition (which I do, to differentiate it from a psychiatric disorder), some do not, as they do not wish to be viewed as “disordered.”
Geez, have some respect for the words people use to refer to themselves. For example, younger LGBTI people are using the word “queer” now, while others of us cringe at that word as offensive. For some people the word “transsexual” is just as offensive, although it may not be to you.
I’m cis, so you can discount everything I have to say and tell me to f-off. But ironically enough, I guarantee that my trans friends would completely support my comment.
The other person made reference to the DSM IV & V before I did but then edited it out before I got the screen cap, making it look as though I was being argumentative. SHE brought it up. btw, I DO have my DSM IV right next to me….
MY NEXT (long) COMMENT:
I’m just asking you to back up what you’re claiming.
Almost all of my trans friends use the word “transgender” to describe themselves—pre- or post-op—yet they are not fetishists, not wannabes, not part-timers… they are exactly what all of you are describing as transsexuals. Almost all of them view this as a curable congenital condition (except those who don’t want to be viewed as “disordered”.)
For the most part you’re fighting over a word. For example, some lesbians prefer to be referred to “lesbians,” some “gay;” infighting over how people refer to THEMSELVES and not respecting how people refer to THEMSELVES does nothing to help TS/TG people (not transvestites or fetishists–I could give a rat’s @$$ about them) get the rights they deserve, and only hurts the cause. I cringe at the word “queer” that younger people are now using because I remember its old connotations, but if they want to refer to themselves as “queer,” I RESPECT their right to do so and am not going to nit-pic over definitions because it accomplishes nothing but divisiveness in the LGBTI community.
I’m not trying to fight, but I have to ask: Are you being hostile towards me because I’m cisgender and therefore must not know what I’m talking about? Because my trans friends can tell you that I am more supportive of trans issues than many in the trans community. I DO understand that cis people pushed all the non TS/TG people under the “transgender umbrella” and do not agree that: 1) they belong there or 2) cis people have any business defining trans people. But when a legitimately trans person prefers the term “transgender” over “transsexual” and THEY ARE EXACTLY THE SAME AS WHAT YOU DESCRIBE AS “TRANSSEXUAL,” they should be respected and referred to by the term they prefer.
RESPONSE TO MY COMMENT:
MY FINAL COMMENT:
I’m not an idiot, am well-educated and I understand the meaning of the words. I also specifically mentioned that I am in the US and that there may be cultural differences. In common use, the word “transgender” in the US is used to refer to someone who is, by your definition TS, despite the existence of the “transgender umbrella.”
My friends are NOT cross-dressers, they are what you refer to as TS and many are taking hormones and are trying to find a way to afford surgery (some have already had it)–they have all been properly diagnosed by licensed physicians as having a medical condition that requires treatment. Unlike the UK, virtually no health insurance companies pay for SRS/GRS. I think the “transgender umbrella” is utter BS and would never refer to a transvestite or anyone else who does not meet the criteria for what you refer to as TS as “transgender.” I NEVER STATED THAT EVERY TS SHOULD BE LABELED TG. Screw PC—I merely stated that people should be RESPECTED and referred to by the label they prefer, if a label is needed at all. Oh, and I don’t feel “threatened” by people who don’t show respect for other people’s feelings—they piss me off for their lack of respect.
You are wrong—I do NOT feel that anyone who labels themselves as TG should get treatment—medical treatment for TS/TG should only be available and provided by licensed physicians after careful and proper diagnosis of a medical condition.
You obviously didn’t read my post; you apparently saw “transgender” and my self-disclosure as being “cisgender” and reacted. My issue is with you forcing YOUR label on other TS/TG people in the same way that cisgender people created the “transgender umbrella” to label YOU, thereby disenfranchising people who are JUST LIKE YOU. It is so sad to see that the TS/TG community is as divisive as the LGBT community–it’s a wonder you have any rights at all.
I don’t appreciate your condescending attitude towards me and you DO seem to be dismissive of me because I am cisgender. I would be happy to provide you with the names of friends who are, by your definition “transsexual” although most of them refer to themselves as “transgender.” I spend a lot of my time writing a blog dedicated to trans* issues, written specifically to educate cis people on trans* issues; some of my followers are trans* people, some of whom refer to themselves as TS, some as TG and they are all what you would call TS. People from the LGBT and non-LGBT communities have thanked me for doing so because they wanted to know more but were afraid to ask, because they are sensitive to people’s privacy and because they did not want to be met with hostility for using the “wrong” terminology or “saying the wrong thing.” This post is a perfect example of why.
The link to my blog, if you are willing to lower yourself to reading anything written from a cis perspective, is below. If you read from bottom to top (i.e., in chronological order) you will see the process by which I, a cis person, learned about trans* issues. You expect us to understand you—how about reciprocating? http://transcister.wordpress.com/
To anyone who is not happy with this blog or this particular post, I will conclude with a quote a read somewhere recently:
The only people who are mad at you for speaking the truth are living a lie.
I have been criticized by several straight cisgender white males in my life for being “too politically correct” when it comes to language (I gave up on correcting their grammatical errors and incorrect use of words a long time ago. ) I have had the words “feminist,” “liberal” and “atheist” (I’m agnostic—they couldn’t even get it right!) hurled at me in anger… yeah, as though those are insults! rofl These were instances of men with privilege not recognizing their privilege and then using that privilege not only to malign others, but also to attempt to intimidate me into shutting up. It didn’t work. My father prides himself in not being a bigot (and he really isn’t when it comes to people of color or people with physical disabilities) yet he has the most rigid attitudes of anyone I know and refuses to admit that some of his “opinions” may not be based on factual information.
The importance of language should not be underestimated. Our lives center largely around various types of relationships. The success of relationships depends on communication, and much of our communication is accomplished through language and how we use language. As someone who has been addressed by an incorrect name on a regular basis and has her surname mispronounced more frequently than it has been pronounced correctly, I can attest to how invalidated it can make one feel. And when someone doesn’t spell my name correctly when it is right in front of them (e.g., on Facebook) it sends me the message that their communication with me is not (or I am not) important enough to them for them to make the effort. When I was a manager responsible for hiring, any resumés with letters on which my name was spelled incorrectly automatically went into the “probably not” pile: If a prospective employee does not make the effort to spell their possible future supervisor’s name correctly, what can one expect in terms of the quality of their work?
Names, descriptive labels and pronouns… they are all important because they refer to who we are. When people use incorrect names, descriptions, pronouns, etc., it strikes to the very core of our identities as human beings.
Or, more accurately, they are symptomatic of the issue.
The issue that underlies all the rest of the stuff, the issue that creates the fundamental problems.
The use of the proper pronouns, the use of the right name, the remembering to say that a woman is a woman instead of calling her a man — these things are all symptomatic of the issue, and they are the most important things.
Because the issue is this: if you want to say that trans women are not women or trans men are not men, especially when you hate them, then you are the problem, not the solution.
That’s what underlies the bullshit around the MWMF. That’s why it hasn’t gone away, and only gets worse.
That’s what underlies the calls for things like laws that decide which bathroom you can use based on your birth certificate.
That’s what underlies laws that require sterilization just to change some paperwork.
That’s what makes that paperwork so damned important.
Some might speculate that it is men who kill trans women of color. IT is a reasonable speculation — the majority of the attacks that are known are done by men. But many of the attack that are done are also done by women.
The call for the moral extermination of trans people was put forth by a woman, though. A woman who also helped to ensure that medical coverage for trans needs was labeled as “experimental” decades ago, when it already had decades behind it.
THat, by itself, meant that a lot of trans people died, and they all died for the same core reasn: people did not see them as the women they are, and even though they might, occasionally, say something like “well, they are women, but they aren’t female?, that sort of bullshit is nothing more than a backhanded furtherance of the very same problem.
That is the problem. IT is the chief problem, the first problem, the most important problem. It is more important for trans people than domestic violence, than rape, than homelessness, than pretty much all of those social ills because it is what lies at the very heart of it.
Other people do not get to police how one person’s existence is genuine or not. You do not get to decide if I am enough of a woman, or if I have “female energy”, or if I am the right sort or the proper kind.
That is, in the end, the core of it. The heart of it. Because that lies at the heart of all those other things, and is the root cause, the root source, and those who continue to do it are complicit in the very acts thereby.
BEcause no matter what the statistical prevalence of other things might say (and here I am thinking of someone who uses a statistical model in a commentary on this, not realizing the incredibly racist manner of her usage, while dismissing as unreliable a study that is far, far more reliable than her piss poor assemblage of disparate data), it is not poverty alone that creates situations like this.
And until people recognize the basic, core, heartfelt sense of self in people who are men, women, both, and neither, then there will continue to be an overriding need to recognize that pronouns are indeed incredibly important.
Because that is what lies at the root. That is the first step. That trans women be seen as women. That trans men be seen as men. That trans people of color be seen as just as much a part of the trans community as all the rest.
That’s not merely pandering, either.
The single most overwhelming predictor of success in a diversionary program — be it substance abuse, prostitution, or just getting out of a cycle of self destructive behavior — for a trans person is that they be treated consistently, enduringly, and readily as the man, woman, or person they are.
And I have data going back seven years that supports that. That shows that respecting someone is the first step to saving their life.
That’s the impact on 3200 trans people. Not counting the ones in the last year.
SO yes, the right to be called the right pronouns, the right name, is the most important thing to do.
So let’s name the problem, shall we?
The problem is people not thinking that trans people are what they really are. The problem is people policing trans people’s lives. The problem is fucking assholes who call trans women men and male, and trans men women and female.
IF you know someone who does that — no matter what their justifications are for it — you know someone who is actively contributing to the problem, who is part of it, and who is fighting against the solution.
The solution is simple.
Tell them to stop treating other people as if their lives were their personal property.
I can think of one person, we’ll call her Cockroach, who does this frequently. She runs around the internet acting like a dick and then scrambling away every time the light is turned on. Seems fitting.
It would be pretty incredible if people just went to all her twitter accounts, to all her “friends”, to all her Facebook pages and all her blogs and simply left the comment above. Nothing more, nothing less.
Stop treating other people as if their lives are your personal property. Stop using the wrong pronouns. Stop using the wrong names. Stop being the problem.
A real simple comment. It doesn’t say the hard things we all want to say the way we would like to say them. But it still says what needs to be said, and it does it well.
Then leave it alone. They have been “educated”. After that, its up to them, and it is time to move on to greener pastures. They will be left behind, consigned to the dustbin of history, footnotes on how not to be human beings in the not too distant future.
Just as the person who called for that moral extermination, that genocide, is now a footnote, consigned to the dustbin of history, an example of how not to be a human being.
There are bigger fish in the sea.
The St. Petersburg Pride Parade, the largest Pride celebration in the State of Florida and the 4th largest in the Southeastern US will take place on this Saturday, June 29, 2013. More than 100,000 people from all over Florida (and from all over the country!) are expected to attend. The Pride festival is the largest single-day event in the City of St. Petersburg.
I’ve marched in the parade the past 3 years, with 3 different groups. Based on the depressing experience I had last year (see my blog entry “Where is the Pride?” for a blow-by-blow description of that fiasco), I have been procrastinating on finding a group to march with this year. Last year I marched with a trans* group and while I would like more than anything to show my support for my trans* friends in the same way again this year, I felt like such an outsider last year that I don’t think I’m going to do that again. I identified a new group to march with, but my daughter is marching with that group and I don’t think the wannabe independent adolescent wants her Mom there….
Anyway, I’ll figure it out. In the meantime, I saw this article on Kira Moore’s blog Kira Moore’s Closet and thought it both timely and replete with facts and challenges faced by transgender people:
Transgender activists have planned a march and festival during Seattle’s Pride celebrations to increase visibility of a little-understood segment of the LGBT community.
Seattle Times staff reporter
Originally published June 23, 2013 at 9:03 PM | Page modified June 23, 2013 at 10:49 PM
They are the “T” in LGBT and arguably the most maligned segment of that community.
Many transgender men and women face hardships in routine areas of daily life. They are twice as likely as the general population to be unemployed or homeless and four times as likely to live in poverty.
Some 90 percent said in a 2011 national survey that they had encountered discrimination at work, and more than one in three attempt suicide at some point in their lives.
Such dire statistics are part of what inspired Danielle Askini, a 30-year-old transgender activist, and a group of volunteers, to organize Trans Pride in Seattle during the week set aside at the end of June each year to mark the historical launch of the nation’s gay-rights movement.
Executive director of a Seattle organization called the Gender Justice League, Askini said the goal is to help promote visibility of a population often in the shadows of its higher-profile gay and lesbian brothers and sisters.
“For us there are some very distinct political and sociological justice struggles that the LGBT community has not always been the best in addressing,” said Askini, who lives in Kirkland and is program manager for QLaw, the state’s LGBT bar association.
“Some of us are calling this our coming-out party.”
The Williams Institute, a national think tank that does public-policy research on sexual orientation and gender identity, estimates there are 700,000 transgender people in the U.S. — people whose birth-assigned sex does not match the gender to which they feel they belong.
Trans Pride celebrations are planned for a number of U.S. cities this year.
In Seattle, one is scheduled for Friday, beginning with a 6 p.m. march from Seattle Central Community College on Capitol Hill to Cal Anderson Park, followed by a festival at the park.
Starting to gain visibility
It’s been 44 years since the riots at the Stonewall Inn in New York launched the gay-rights movement.
And in cities across the country, the LGBT community marks the anniversary with colorful pageantry — including a parade down Fourth Avenue in Seattle followed by a festival at Seattle Center and smaller celebrations throughout the month.
In the 1990s, transgender people began participating in Seattle Pride for the first time — one of the first cities where that occurred — and in 1997 hosted their own Trans Pride Rally, which drew about 150 people onto Broadway on Capitol Hill.
In recent years, as the broader LGBT community has built strong alliances and gained broad acceptance, the particular needs of transgender people have been getting more attention, too.
The Social Security Administration recently announced it would no longer require proof of surgery to alter the gender ID of individuals in its records; other federal agencies also have relaxed requirements for documents such as passports and visas.
Transgender men and women also have gained protection against discrimination in areas such as housing and employment in Washington, 15 other states and the District of Columbia, and more than half of all Fortune 500 companies now have nondiscrimination policies in place.
During the first August weekend each year, thousands from across the world attend the Gender Odyssey conference in Seattle, an international event focusing on the needs of transgender and gender-variant individuals.
And a growing number of employers nationwide, including Microsoft, have expanded their insurance coverage to meet the needs of transgender workers — a major area of concern for the community.
Still, transgender people — who can be either gay or straight — have not gained the kind of visibility that the gay community has.
Nor have they experienced the kind of broad successes the gay community has won in recent years, with same-sex marriage now legal in 12 states, including Washington, and the repeal of the military’s “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy, which banned openly gay military service. The U.S. military still prohibits transgender people from serving openly.
Marsha Boxter is co-founder and chair of the Ingersoll Gender Center, a Seattle-based organization that works with transgender people and has become one of their best known advocates on a local and national level.
She said “like any group, there’s a period of survival, early organizing, then a stage where the community widens and matures, and at some point there’s the public identification of the community.”
The transgender community has now arrived at that point, she said.
Trans Pride, in which Ingersoll will participate, should help “increase visibility for the community; and if it brings more energy at all — and it will — that’s always welcome and wonderful,” she said.
Boxter said the findings of the national poll, conducted by the National Center for Transgender Equality and the National Gay and Lesbian Taskforce, are mirrored in Washington state, where concerns over joblessness and underemployment are among the reasons the Ingersoll center began an employment project.
Advocates believe transgender people face discrimination in large part because of how they may look — a male-to-female transgender person might be much taller than the average woman or have a deeper voice, or a trans male might still have hips and female breasts.
Some employers might find that unsettling, out of sync with their view of gender as being immutable.
Access to health care, particularly health-insurance coverage, is another primary concern for transgender men and women.
Most employer-based health-insurance plans exclude coverage for transition-related treatment and other care on the grounds they’re cosmetic or elective in nature — claims that have been challenged by medical professionals.
Fred Swanson, executive director of the Gay City Health Project, Trans Pride’s fiscal sponsor, said an added community concern is the high rate of HIV.
Part of the problem, Swanson said, is that transgender people are not accessing health care at the same level as the general population, in part because of the challenge in finding culturally competent medical providers they feel they can trust.
“For gays and lesbians, that’s a challenge,” he said. “For transgender and gender variant individuals, it’s very difficult.”
He points to Centers for Disease Control statistics that show male-to-female transgender people have an HIV rate of 28 percent. Gay City will make the first mass distribution of home HIV test kits in King County during Trans Pride and other Pride events that weekend.
Askini, 30, who was raised by foster parents from around age 15 when she began transitioning to female, represents a new generation of activists. Like many young people throughout the LGBT movement, she is eager for change.
But she and other transgender people recognize the limitations of the law in addressing many of the challenges they face.
Laws alone, she points out, won’t stop negative media portrayals or prevent transgender people from taking their own lives. “The law can’t force your neighbor to like you,” Askini said.
She believes society is growing more familiar with those in her community as transgender people come out publicly.
Chaz Bono, the only child of celebrities Cher and Sonny Bono, announced his transition from female to male about four years ago, and President Obama three years ago became the first U.S. president to appoint a transgender person to his administration.
Askini believes the next step is for transgender people to gain more acceptance through visibility, by allowing others to get to know them as neighbors, co-workers and friends — much as the larger gay and lesbian community has done.
“That cultural shift has started to happen,” she said. “The reason we started Trans Pride is to highlight that, to increase visibility, while creating something where we in the community can see one another and celebrate ourselves.”
Lornet Turnbull: 206-464-2420 or email@example.com.
On Twitter @turnbullL.
The process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.
Undergo or cause to undergo a process or period of transition: “we had to transition to a new set of products”
passage — change — crossing — transit
I have neglected this blog for a long time (geez! almost a year!) not because I don’t think it’s important, but because I have a lot going on in my life and writing is not easy for me. Actually, it’s because I am transitioning.
I am not trying to minimize the experiences of trans* people nor trying to equate my transitioning to gender transition, but there are some similarities, which I hope I can adequately articulate and not get my trans* friends pissed off at me (screw the RatFaux-Feminists.) I believe that many people are in constant transition, continually evolving, developing new relationships, learning from those people & those relationships and from other life experiences. I’m not sure that all people are continually transitioning, as some seem to stagnate and not appear to learn anything, nor do they seem to grow or improve as human beings (e.g., NOMmers, Westboro Baptist Church, and other fundamentalist christians who cherry-pick the bible to justify their ignorance and hate, etc.) I like to think that I am continually learning, growing, and becoming a more complete (not necessarily better ) person. Perhaps that is delusional thinking, but I am going to indulge myself anyway. After all, this is my blog and I am Queen.
There are all kinds of life transitions and we celebrate many of them: Births, birthdays, onset of puberty, questioning and/or realizing that one does not adhere to society’s cisgender and/or heterosexual norm (I did NOT say “normal”— “norm” is a statistical term), coming out (or deciding not to) as transgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, etc., obtaining a driver’s license, a new job, voting for the first time, buying a car, starting high school/college/graduate school, graduations, starting/ending relationships, engagements, marriages, civil unions, anniversaries, divorces (yes, there are people who throw divorce parties), buying a house, relocating, children moving out of the house, onset of perimenopause and menopause, illnesses, changes (and possible limitations) related to aging… and, finally death—our own and those of family and friends. Some of these transitions are marked with single events, while some take place over a period of time. In talking to my trans* friends, I would conclude that coming out as transgender, real-life experience (RLE) (i.e., appearing in public dressed, groomed and presenting as one’s true gender,) beginning hormone therapy, and sex reassignment surgery (SRS) are among the major transition points in the life of a transgender person’s gender transition.
Before I try to describe my current transitioning (i.e., my rationalization for neglecting this blog, lol,) I am going to describe some events in my own life that may explain why I feel comfortable with trans women, and perhaps why I feel less comfortable with trans men (see my blog entry “A Penis? Uh… NO, thanks… No Penis for Me!” for my diatribe against trans men attending women’s colleges.) First, another definition:
Definition: A transgender person is someone whose personal idea of gender does not correlate with his or her assigned gender role. It does not exclusively refer to transsexual persons, i.e. those who are transitioning or have transitioned from one gender to another; all transsexual persons are transgender, but not all transgender persons are transsexual. A transgender person is anyone who fully accepts a gender identity—androgynous, hermaphroditic, intersex, transsexual, third gender, bigender, or otherwise gender non-conformist—does not match his or her assigned gender [emphasis added.]Common Misspellings: transgendered
At the risk of completely alienating all of my tran* friends, I am going to say it:
~ ducks, runs & hides, wondering how to get into Witness Protection… ~
According to the broad definition of “transgender” above, I contend that I would, in fact, be considered transgender.
Now, TAKE A DEEP BREATH! Allow me to explain. Again, I am not trying to equate my experience with those of my transgender sisters who are transgender in the conventional sense, i.e., born with a hormonal system and/or body parts (i.e., sex) that do/does not match their gender. I am a cisgender woman with all of the female parts (some people would argue vis-à-vis the presence of breasts, but hey, I’m 54 years old and… well… what goes up, must come down ) there has never been any question about this. But I received some confusing childhood gender-related messages and I have never been one to take on any role that someone else has decided and assigned to me.
I would say that a person begins developing their identity as a person with their name and assigned gender. What are the questions we ask when someone has a baby? “Is it a girl or a boy?” and “What is her/his name?” are the first 2 that come to my mind. And I would imagine that their name and presumed gender are the first 2 things a baby learns about themself from most parents (I don’t remember laying the gender thing on my daughter until later when I told her to be careful not to fall and crack her head open because her brains might fall out and she would turn into a boy….)
Let’s start with my name. I have a boy’s name. Okay, “Jody” is more common as a girl’s name now, but it is almost always spelled with an “i” or “ie” (or “ee”) instead of a “y”, and it was certainly uncommon back in the dark ages when I was born. When I was 3 or 4, Santa called me “Judy.” Yes, this could have been a simple & understandable error, but it’s happened my whole life whenever someone screwed up my name (which happened frequently) and already knew I was female. On the other hand, substitute teachers would take attendance, asking, “Jody? Where is he?” It was never, ever, ever “she.” And everyone, when learning that I am, in fact, female and my name is, in fact, spelled with a “y” would inform me that I spell my name “the boy’s way.” Dammit! I was a girl! And dammit! I didn’t pick the stupid name or decide how to spell it!
Until the 4th grade, my mother made me keep my hair short despite the fact that I wanted long hair. I don’t know whether my desire for long hair had anything to do with expressing femininity, I just wanted long hair, dammit! I do remember at least once or twice someone mistaking me for a boy in a very public way when I was prepubescent. It was humiliating—obviously, as I still remember it. In any case, despite having very thin hair due to a thyroid problem, at 54 years old my hair is almost down to my waist and if it would grow any longer, it would be even longer.
I remember how happy I was when my mother allowed me to pick out my own clothes—even those I would receive as Christmas and birthday gifts. I really hated some of the clothes she bought for me before that. I recall 1 specific incident about a teacher thinking that my raincoat belonged to a boy and this was expressed in a public and very humiliating manner. I’ve never gone for a lot of pink, ruffly lacy crap.
When I started elementary school, girls were not permitted to wear pants to school. Yes, this is true. When the policy changed and I told my mother I wanted to wear pants, at first she didn’t believe me (and I was a painfully honest child, so that created other issues) and then she reluctantly allowed me to wear “nice” pants, but only twice/week. I was what then was called a “tomboy” and didn’t like wearing dresses because I was very active and dresses are not conducive to, for example, doing cartwheels. I didn’t play with dolls or other “girl” toys (I never had a Barbie) and preferred to play outside, riding my bike, climbing trees, digging in the dirt or exploring the woods.
I clearly remember being at a community swimming pool with my entire family (I must have been about 11) and my parents very loudly discussing the hair on my legs and whether it was time for me to start shaving my legs. I was already extremely self-conscious (I think my mother had already started telling my sister that she was “the pretty one” and I was “the smart one”; you can imagine the messages we got from that!) and this public humiliation made it worse. And, no, my mother did not allow me to start shaving my legs for a couple of years after that even though kids made fun of my hairy legs.
Despite my perception that I had a body resembling that of a young boy, I started dating at 12½ and was “boy-crazy” for years. It wasn’t about sex: I didn’t have sex until almost 19. I came from a family that did not express love or affection either verbally or physically in any meaningful way, so that probably accounts for most of my need for romantic relationships (I couldn’t stand having anyone else touch me), but maybe I was also trying to prove my femininity… to the world or to myself. I don’t know. (Having recently been told by a rather, shall I say, “voluptuous” woman that I have the body of an adolescent boy, I LMAO and took it as a compliment! At my age that is definitely a good thing! Poor old witch didn’t mean it as a compliment though.)
In school I always did well in math & science which I was not “supposed” to do because I was a girl. Can you believe that BS? But I also did well in foreign languages and everything else. The one clear identity I always had was that of student (and employee) with a role to achieve and excel. And for the most part, I did. But I didn’t have a clear sense about what it meant to be a woman. When someone walked into a room with their baby, I was more likely to leave the room than I was to do the baby talk thing. I refused to let anyone push me into traditional roles but encountered pressures and stereotypes (especially when working in a male-dominated field) on an ongoing basis. Even when I changed fields and entered the female-dominated field of professional social work, I wasn’t the stereotypical social worker because I’m not the warm and pleasant touchy-feely outgoing type person that everyone likes; in fact, I’m quite introverted and don’t give a rat’s ass whether people like me or not.
When the biological clock kicked in and I gave birth to my daughter at 36, I assumed the role of mother in addition to employee. Naturally I wanted to excel. I read baby books, went to La Leche League meetings, read more books, talked to friends, read books, decided to ignore conflicting information I received from people I didn’t trust & to trust professionals and my own instincts, & read more books. I used cloth diapers, breastfed and made my own baby food. I did my best as a single parent to give my child the love, support & sense of identity I never got while growing up.
When I became disabled & no longer able to work I was absolutely devastated. Work had always been at the core of my identity, and until my daughter was born, my entire identity essentially revolved around work. When my child ended up in foster care (through no fault of mine—a very loonnngggg and unpleasant story) and having had my only remaining real identity in essence ripped from me, I was lost. I had been forced into several major transitions in my life but was so busy grieving the losses that I did not recognize the opportunities that these overlapping transitions precipitated by these horrendous life-altering events had provided for me.
I became an advocate and activist for LGBT people and others on Facebook. I learned about issues and hate groups, and helped get some hate pages/groups shut down on Facebook. I met 100s of new people, made new friends and revived friendships that had been inactive for decades. I learned the word “pomosexual” and have appropriated it to describe my sexual orientation. I learned the word “cisgender” and learned that I am one. I learned a lot about gender and am starting to wrap my head around the concept of non-binary gender. I learned (mostly by reading) a lot about transgender issues and developed friendships with several transgender women who I consider my sisters. I have learned about myself and learned to let the little things go and deal with the big things more calmly (which came with a price.) I know more about the foster care system in the State of Florida than anyone would ever want to know (it’s even worse than people think it is.) I learned that even people smart enough to graduate from law school can be too stupid to learn to understand that bipolar disorder is a medical—biological—disorder of the brain. I learned that you can’t fix stupid and no matter how good a parent you are and how you raise them, some kids just don’t turn out the way one would expect them to.
During and prior to that period of transitioning, I was subject to physical, psychological and emotional trauma and there were times that my life was literally in danger. I developed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and continue to meet the full criteria for the disorder, although I am less frequently exposed to the source of trauma and lethality has been diminished by making some changes in my life. One of the things I had to do to survive during that time was to numb myself emotionally and I continue to experience “feeling[s] of detachment or estrangement from others” and “restricted range of affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings.” Therefore, a primary goal in my current period of transition is to take back my life: i.e., to re-establish a stable sense of personal identity, become more functional physically & cognitively, work towards experiencing a wider range of emotions, feel productive—giving something back to the world, and find more purpose in my life. So, that’s what I’ve been doing. I think writing this has served some of these purposes. Why the hell you read it is beyond me.
How in the world can anyone look at Josie and see anything other than a beautiful little girl? All of my transgender/transsexual friends were once this little girl. For most of them, the world they lived in at the time was even more hostile than it is today and they had to live with the pain of feeling like a freak, being treated like a freak (or worse) and feeling the need to lie about who they really were for decades. Most were bullied any many the survivors of all types of violence: beatings, stabbings, rapes, etc., some at the hands of their own families. Most are currently in some stage of transition—some just contemplating starting RLE, i.e., real life experience, living full-time in the gender in which they are (vs. the one they were assigned at birth) and a few completed transition and sex reassignment surgery decades ago. A handful are still unable to live their lives as their real selves because of their own personal circumstances.
Whenever you see a trans* person, whenever you hear someone use the word “tranny” or tell a rude joke about transgender or transsexual people, or when you see a trans* person being bullied or harassed, think of this little girl Josie, and F-F-S, DO something—say something!
Please click on the picture of Josie, below. A new tab will open and you will be taken to the website. The video should begin automatically and the next one should begin when that one finishes; this should continue for a total of 6 videos. When finished watching the videos, close the tab to be returned here. I have included links to all 6 videos, in case you cannot watch all of them now and need to come back later.
Transgender Child Predicts her Future. Josie Romero, an 11-year-old transgender child, reads a personal essay about her life today and what she sees in the future.
Living a Transgender Chlldhood, Part 1. Josie Romero, born a boy, believed she was born in the wrong body. By age 6, she was living as a girl.
Living a Transgender Childhood, Part 2. Fearing that Josie was becoming emotionally unstable due to her growing boy body, her mother Venessia decides that controversial hormone therapy could help her child.
Living a Transgender Childhood, Part 3. A moment of indecision from Josie Romero brings everything into question.
Hormone Treatment “Buys Time” for Transgender Kids. Dr. Norman Spack, one of the first American doctors to treat transgender with hormone “blockers,” explains how these puberty-suppressing drugs “buy time” for them.
First-TIme Doctor Visit for a Transgender Child. Nine-year-old Josie and her mother, Venessia pay their first visit to Dr. Johanna Olson, a pediatrician who specializes in transgender children at Children’s Hospital Los Angeles.
I usually stick to posting strictly trans-related material here, but I really like Kermit.
Reprinted from ABC News
By Annie Rose
Jul 23, 2012 4:58pm
Customers going to Chick-fil-A in search of a Muppets-inspired toy along with their Chick-n-Strips will be greatly disappointed. The toys are no more. The Jim Henson Company, founded by the creator of The Muppets, has severed all ties with Chick-fil-A and announced on its Facebook page that “we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors.”
The Jim Henson Company had formed a partnership with Chick-fil-A at the beginning of summer in order to feature Jim Henson’s Creature Shop toys in kids’ meals from July until Aug. 18. Then, Chick-fil-A’s president, Dan McCarthy, announced his support of Christian organizations that oppose gay marriage.
In an interview with The Baptist Press earlier this month, McCarthy was upfront: “We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that,” said McCarthy.
A report from the LGBT advocacy group Equality Matters said that Chick-fil-A donated more than $3 million from 2003 to 2009 to Christian groups that oppose homosexuality. The company then escalated its donations, giving $2 million to such causes in 2010 alone, according to Equality Matters.
On its Facebook page, The Jim Henson Company mentions its CEO, Lisa Henson, as a “strong supporter of gay marriage.”
The Jim Henson Company says it will be donating its final residual check from Chick-fil-A to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/07/jim-hensons-muppets-split-with-chick-fil-a-over-gay-rights/
Reprinted from: The Solipsistic Me
Michael Hulshof-Schmidt’s Musings About the World We Live In
July 23, 2012
As Chick-Fil-A continuesto spew its ugly venom at the LGBTQ community, The Jim Henson Company has said ENOUGH to hate and has broken ties with the homophobic fried chicken Dwarf House. Chick-Fil-A has a long-standing history of bigotry and homophobia; it is nice to see the Jim Henson Company demonstrate integrity by divorcing themselves from the squawker of oppression.
Henson Company released the following statement regarding the termination of the relationship:
The Jim Henson Company has celebrated and embraced diversity and inclusiveness for over fifty years and we have notified Chick-Fil-A that we do not wish to partner with them on any future endeavors. Lisa Henson, our CEO is personally a strong supporter of gay marriage and has directed us to donate the payment we received from Chick-Fil-A to GLAAD. (http://www.glaad.org/)
TSM also has to give kudos to Boston Mayor Thomas Menino for his strong stand by vowing to not allow the chicken peddlers to open a franchise in Boston. With each voice and each act of integrity, we move toward equality and leave those that oppress us on the wrong side of history! http://hulshofschmidt.wordpress.com/2012/07/23/muppets-dont-tolerate-bigotry/
Here are some pictures that have started circulating on Facebook since the Jim Henson Company announced its intention to terminate its relationship with Chick-fil-H8:
It’s really too bad about Chick-fil-A being so full of hate. I’ve been boycotting them for more than a year because of the CEO’s support of anti-LGBT hate groups, such as NOM, but I really love their sandwiches, unhealthy as they may be (what fast food isn’t unhealthy?!) Last year someone told me that a specialty sandwich at McDonald’s tasted “exactly like” CFA’s chicken sandwich. It did not. But I found this video today, and although I have not yet tried this recipe, I thought I’d post a link to a video that demonstrates how to make it; the ingredients are listed on youtube with the video. Click on the link to watch it:
I think Kermit T. Frog has always been a friend to LGBT people. Why else would he sing about rainbows?
Click on the picture of Kermit T. Frog below to hear his rendition of the Academy Award-winning song for Best Song in 1979, “Why are There So Many Songs About Rainbows?” It is sung by Kermit as the movie’s opening number and reprised by the whole cast of Muppets at the end of the movie. The single of this song reached #25 on Billboard’s “Hot 100 Singles” chart in 1979.
Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what’s on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we’ve been told and some choose to believe it.
I know they’re wrong wait and see.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
Who said that wishes would be heard and answered when wished on the morningstar?
Someone thought of that and someone believed it.
Look what it’s done so far.
What’s so amazing that keeps us stargazing and what do we think we might see?
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection.
The lovers, the dreamers and me.
All of us under its spell.
We know that it’s probably magic.
Have you been half asleep and have you heard voices?
I’ve heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors.
The voice might be one and the same.
I’ve heard it too many times to ignore it.
It’s something that I’m supposed to be.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.
Someday we’ll find it, the rainbow connection, the lovers, the dreamers and me.
Gender Identity Disorder? Gender dysphoria? What is all of that about?
sex (def. 1); see also gender identity and gender role.
gender identity disorder a disturbance of gender identification in which the affected person has an overwhelming desire to change their anatomic sex or insists that they are of the opposite sex, with persistent discomfort about their assigned sex or about filling its usual gender role; the disorder may become apparent in childhood or not appear until adolescence or adulthood. Individuals may attempt to live as members of the opposite sex and may seek hormonal and surgical treatment to bring their anatomy into conformity with their belief (see transsexualism). It is not the same as transvestismgender dysphoria gender dysphoria [jen´der] [dis-for´e-ah] (Gr.) unhappiness with one’s biological sex or its usual gender role, with the desire for the body and role of the opposite sex.
“Imagine waking up in the morning and discovering that you had a penis… and testicles. How would that make you feel?“ That is how I typically describe gender dysphoria to a cisgender woman who doesn’t seem to “get it” in any other way. Similarly, “Imagine waking up in the morning and discovering that your penis is gone,” is how I generally describe it to clueless cisgender men. Granted, this is an over-simplified explanation of gender dysphoria and not strictly accurate, but it comes close and is better understood by cisgender people who don’t seem to “get it” any other way. I really don’t like reducing people to genitals—it just adds to incorrect stereotypes that already abound about TG/TS people, but it’s a good place to start. Furthermore, describing the experience of being a woman as “lacking” a penis is quite sexist, not only in its androcentrism but in its phallocentrism. But, again, for people lacking in the ability to think abstractly, it works.
In case you’ve noticed, my blog is biased somewhat in favor of trans women. I try to give equal time to trans men, as I know that trans men, having often been mistaken for “butch” lesbians have historically been “invisible,” hence the erroneous almost universal belief that that most trans* people are MTF (male to female). Most of my interaction and experience has been with trans women and to be honest, I don’t really “get” some trans men. For the most part, my interactions with trans people have been “up close and personal:” The very experience of being TG/TS is very emotional and personal… the way women tend to interact with each other. Trans men are, well… men… and their communication style (in my thus far limited experience) seems to mirror the patterns of (most) cisgender men, and while I get along with a lot of cis men on a certain level, I find that many of them are quite limited in their communication skills, particularly surrounding emotional issues. I am not claiming to know for a fact whether this is nature or nurture, but I suspect that it is a combination of both, with emphasis on nurture. When you think about it, trans men having communication styles mirroring that of cisgender men is pretty amazing, considering that they were socialized as girls.
Then there is the issue of male privilege. I don’t know how they manage it, having been socialized as girls, but some of the trans men I’ve run into have mastered the arrogance and condescending derision towards women (unconscious though it may be) that goes along with male privilege. Some act as though they are the authority on every subject, interrupting and talking over women. Granted, they may have always acted this way, but that air of “male superiority” that most women recognize when they encounter it is part of some trans men’s behavior and I don’t like being around men like that, whether trans or cis.
As a clinical social worker and a longtime observer of people, it would be fascinating for me to watch a group of cis and trans women and cis and trans men interact, both with and without everyone knowing the gender status (i.e., cisgender or trans*) of the other participants. I wonder whether male privilege is so engrained that the trans men, having spent years socialized as girls, would defer to the cis men. I do believe that the trans men would dominate the cis (and trans) women, but this might depend upon whether or not everyone is aware of each other’s gender status. Of course, no absolute conclusions could be drawn from a single observational study and it would be unlikely that adequate sample sizes could be obtained to replicate the results to determine reliability, but it certainly would be fun to watch!
One instance of the arrogance of male privilege came up on a TV documentary series about trans people. There was a trans man who applied to, was accepted and admitted to Smith College, a small, private liberal arts college for women and one of the Seven Sisters while he was living as a girl and had not yet come out. During his time at Smith, he came out and began his transition. Having graduated from Bryn Mawr College, also a small, private liberal arts college for women and another of the Seven Sisters, I felt resentful that this person—a man—had the arrogance and audacity to believe that he should be permitted to remain at Smith despite his identity as a man (Smith did let him stay, perhaps fearful of a lawsuit.) I know that if this happened at Bryn Mawr, I would be outraged, while I would fight for the right of a trans woman to attend and would adamantly protest against anyone who challenged her right to use the bathrooms (after all, men were permitted to use bathrooms, even in the women-only dormitories.) A woman’s college is a woman’s college–why should a man have the right to attend? Women’s colleges exist for a reason–to provide education for women. I think that a trans man expecting the right to attend a woman’s college smacks of male entitlement and constitutes the expectation of “special rights.”—NOT transphobia. Any thoughts on this?
I get it when trans women talk about boobs—breasts seem to symbolize womanhood in our culture and talking about them is a normal part of adolescence, which is what hormone therapy essentially creates in trans women. Vaginas, labia, clitorises… I “get” them. But getting excited about hair growing on the face and other weird places on the body, guidelines for choosing a binder (a garment worn under a shirt, used to “bind” the breasts tightly to the chest in order to conceal them, and the benefits of various types of packers (prosthetic penises and testicles worn inside the underwear to create a bulge in the pants; different types have, uh… additional functions—functions that are accomplished by a penis in a cisgender man… oh, FFS, use your imagination or google it, I am NOT going to draw you a picture!) are things I just cannot relate to, no matter how hard I try. And I certainly cannot relate to the desire for a real penis!
Scientists have found differences between the brains of some TG/TS people and those of cisgender people. Like intersex conditions, I suspect—I predict—that eventually we will learn that virtually all transsexualism has a physical, biological basis; I am already convinced that there is absolutely no psychopathology involved in being trans. These opinions are not based on any particular scientific studies, just experience, a bit of research, clinical intuition and history. I believe that “Gender Identity Disorder” and “gender dysphoria” are social/psychological constructs that were created by doctors for the sole purpose of “explaining away” something they didn’t understand (with the secondary benefit of creating a diagnostic code under which to bill insurance companies for psychotherapy and other medical services), much as homosexuality was historically labeled a “mental disorder” until scientists realized that sexual orientation appears inborn and immutable in most cases and although not the norm, sexual orientations that are not strictly heterosexual are perfectly normal.
What causes someone to be TG/TS? (I intentionally did not use the word “born,” as there is a segment of the TG/TS who report that their awareness of their transsexuality happened later in life; nor did I use the word “become…”) There could be a myriad of causes, from all of the causes already currently known for intersex conditions to anomalies in brain structure, differential exposure to hormones, anomalies in brain development either pre- or post-natal… maybe exposure to some type of toxin or pathogen, genetic mutation, one or more of these things in conjunction with a genetic predisposition or some combination of any of the above. Perhaps non-intersex transsexuality does not represent a single phenomenon (like intersex conditions, for which specific physical etiologies have been identified), but several medical “disorders” that happen to present in the same or similar way; that would explain the difficulty in arriving at a single cause.
The following article about brain structure was published a year and a half ago, but I thought it was quite interesting and certainly germane to a discussion about the concept of all transsexuality being purely physiological in origin and attributable to a specific anomaly or anomalies in the person’s brain (since that is where gender identity “lives.”)
by Staff Writer, PinkNews.co.uk
26 January 2011, 1:52pm
A team of scientists has discovered differences in the brains of transgender people.
The researchers, at the National University of Distance Education in Madrid, Spain, believe their technique could help doctors identify transgender people at an early age, giving them more options for treatment, such as delaying the onset of puberty.
According to New Scientist, the study looked at the white matter of the brain and its structural differences in men, women and female-to-male transgender people.
They used MRI scans on the brains of 18 trans men who had not started hormone treatment with 24 men and 19 women.
The results showed that trans men – those born biologically female but living as male – had white matter where it is usually found in male brains.
This is thought to be the first time that scientists have been able to show that trans men’s brains are masculinised.
In another study, they compared the brains of 18 trans women – born male but living as female – with 19 men and 19 women.
The trans women’s brains showed that the structure of the white matter was halfway between a typical male and a typical female brain.
Antonio Guillamon, who led the research, said: “Their brains are not completely masculinised and not completely feminised, but they still feel female.”
The study will be published in Volume 45, Issue 2 of the Journal of Psychiatric Research next month. http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2011/01/26/scans-show-difference-in-transgender-brains/
The original study Transsexual Differences Caught on Brain Scan was published in New Scientist on 1-26-2011 by Jessica Hamzelou. http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn20032-transsexual-differences-caught-on-brain-scan.html?DCMP=OTC-rss&nsref=online-news
Yeah, yeah, I know, another petition after I just posted that I normally only post petitions on my “Petitions” page (accessible by clicking “Petitions” in the gray bar near the top of my blog, directly under the blog banner.) But I just had a conversation with some of my trans women friends about this a couple of days ago, in particular about Jerry Springer exploiting trans women for his show….
The following is reprinted from the “About this Petition” tab on the petition page for this petition on change.org:
For many years, producers of The Jerry Springer Show & The Maury Povich Show have shamelessly exploited Transgender women on national and international television. We demand they halt all production and re-airing of episodes that include content related to the exploitation of Transgender Individuals.
The Jerry Springer Show often features transwomen who are then ridiculed, called ‘he/shes’ (among other derogatory terms), and verbally and physically assaulted by other guests and audience members. Transwomen are told by stage security that they are not allowed to defend themselves against the vicious physical attacks of cis-gendered women because unlike the cis-gendered women, they are still ‘men’. In many episodes, producers deliberately paint the picture of a man who is ‘tricked’ by a TGirl into having sexual relations with her, and turn him gay. They all end with a grand reveal in which the TGirl admits she was born with male genitalia. These (often scripted) story lines invite the misconception in society that transwomen should be feared because they are some sort of sexual predators. This content also erroneously labels men who are attracted to (or have sexual relations with) transwomen as ‘gay’.
The Maury Povich Show continues to re-air episodes with titles such as “Man Or Woman?” in which cis-gendered and transgendered women are brought in front of a live audience who calls out “That’s a man!” or “That’s a woman!” judging by her physical or vocal features. After the audience has decided what type of women these guests are, the guests then reveal their gender with signs that read “I’m a woman” or “I’m a man”. These episodes promote stereotypes about Transwomen’s appearances and true gender. They also contribute to society’s invalid belief that gender is defined by a person’s masculine or feminine features.
Make no mistake, transwomen ARE women. We will not continue to suffer in silence while mainstream media uses our vey existence for their amusement, spreading a culture of fear, hate and violence against us at the very same time. We ask our friends, our families and every other member of the LGBT Community to join us as we stand united during the LGBT Civil Rights Movement at large.
ROFLMAO! Apparently the RATfem fauxminists didn’t like my posts about them, their transphobia and their general misogyny. Oh, boo flucking hoo. How do I know that? Well RATmouth herself, Cathy “COCKroach” bug Brennan was lurking on my blog—this blog—and posted a comment apparently attempting to intimidate me. Lawyers! In my experience lawyers use intimidation when they have NOTHING to say in response—when the other party has made a valid argument, they have been pushed into a corner and have no other option but to resort to lawyer games. Well COCKroach, hun, there’s no jury here to play to and intimidation doesn’t work on me, so you’re shit out of luck! Save your drama for the courtroom because I’m not impressed.
Following is an example of how COCKroach Cathy distorts reality to fit her own agenda, straight from the horse’s ass’ mouth. In short, Cathy COCKroach Brennan hates trans women and justifies this by refusing to acknowledge that they are, in fact “real” women, and she deliberately misgenders them, calling them “men,” both privately and in public. Immediately preceding the video, which was made at this year’s Dyke March in New York City, you will see the text that COCKroach posted under the video; that will give you the opportunity to read the text first and specifically look for the accusations she makes and remain aware of how she attempts to manipulate emotions with the use of violent and emotionally-laden words and expressions:
A message from the woman who kindly taped this, who prefers to remain anonymous:
“I have uploaded the edited video in a zip file, here is the URL…
Also, it seems important to acknowledge that we began filming when they started getting more heated up and it seemed as if they could possibly escalate into something physical. It seemed that when they approached some of the people they approached with were video taping. There were other people recording throughout. Given that one of the women involved prominently had no shirt on, we did not feel comfortable passing on the video with her body exposed on the internet. She might be ok with it. But we feel women should be able to have their shirts off without being filmed and placed on the internet even when they are being jerks. As blacking out parts of someone’s body in video is not easy when you are not a professional, the blocking out is shoddy, but well intended.
Also, while they mention your posse, we just met and if we are correct, the other people you just ran into when you ran into us. So a few minutes earlier or later and you would have been on your own with no one to witness whatever happened. That is a scary thought.”
A note from Cathy Brennan: The only person I was at the Dyke March with was a very good friend of mine. I just met all of the Dykes who stood by me when Ida Hammer and her gang accosted me. The idea that I had a posse is ridiculous. Ida and her gang were looking for a fight. I think they were frustrated when I didn’t “submit.” As a survivor of rape and assault, I understand what tactics I need to employ to navigate/survive certain situations. Walking away was not an option for me, because it was clear to me they were out for blood. I am embarrassed for the NYC Dyke March that a Dyke would be attacked at the Dyke March. I am sad for what has happened to the Dyke community.
Also, I have not watched this video, nor will I, as I am still dealing with the anxiety from being attacked by Ida Hammer and her gang.
More: [and then she lists more than 20 links; emphasis added]
Note the emotionally-laden words that I have highlighted in red. Many of these words are violent and suggest violence on the part of the women who verbally confronted the COCKroach on her transphobia, but, as you will see in the video, there was no violence and none was threatened. COCKroach Cathy is a lawyer and lawyers make money by manipulation, particularly by manipulating words. Brennan herself admits that she hasn’t even watched the video! COCKroach Cathy is full of crap.
Click on the picture or the link below to watch the video. A new tab or window will open. You will need to start the video yourself (it is about 20 minutes long.) When you are finished, close the tab and you should be returned here to read the remainder of this post.
I saw ZERO violence or threats of violence on the part of the trans* or pro-trans* people in this video. I saw the pro-trans* people assert themselves verbally, but I saw no aggression. In fact, the COCKroach was not “accosted” or “attacked” and the pro-trans* people obviously were not “out for blood” or “looking for a fight,” as the COCKroach was clearly outnumbered and it would have been no challenge for someone to squash her under their foot as one normally does with a cockroach—a filthy, disease-carrying nuisance insect that serves no useful purpose on this earth. Oh, and the “gang” the COCKroach refers to looked as though they belonged at a Pride parade or celebration and were hardly intimidating. If I wasn’t intimidated at 5’4,” 120 pounds and in my 50s, I’m sure the COCKroach didn’t give her safety a second thought… EXCEPT in terms of spinning her stupid little fairy tale about being attacked by trans* supporters. “Dealing with anxiety” my ass! I’ve seen corpses that are more anxious then the COCKroach is in that video. The only anxiety the COCKroach experienced was in deciding how she was going to spin her story to make herself look like a victim… and she did a pretty shitty job of even doing that!
Lawyers! When they know they’re wrong or have no valid argument they SPIN the facts to meet their purpose… or they LIE. The COCKroach might as well give up now; she really shouldn’t bother messing with somebody who’s smarter than she is because that misogynous, hate-filled, control-freak, transphobic bitch does not scare me.
reprinted from: ★GAYSTARNEWS
Another trans woman murdered in Turkey
Violence against trans women in Turkey continues as Seçil Anne is stabbed to death in Antalya
The onslaught of violence against trans women in Turkey has shown no sign of abating with the tragic news that another was murdered this week.
stern coast of Turkey on Tuesday night (10 July). She was found dead at her home at 11pm by police after her friends alerted them when they couldn’t reach her. Her throat had been slit and face slashed.
Turkish trans activist Kemal Ordek said that dozens of trans people gathered outside Seçil Anne’s apartment after hearing of her murder.
The local police said they had started an investigation and were checking CCTV cameras near Secil Anne’s home and interviewing her ex-boyfriend and close friends.
In June around 100 residents gathered in Altındağ in Antalya to protest the presence of transgender sex workers in their neighborhood. They warned that they would get violent if the police did not resolve the problem. It is not know if Seçil Anne, born Neşe Dilşeker in 1966, lived in this area.
The circumstances of Seçil Anne’s murder are almost identical to that of Derya Y, a transgender women who was stabbed to death in Altındağ in February 2010.
The Trans Murder Monitoring project shows that Turkey has by far the most reported murders of trans people in Europe, with 23 reported from January 2008 until December 2011.
An anonymous blog post on the alarming situation in Turkey said this week that the murders are ‘only the tip of the iceberg’. The post published on the Birds of Paradox blog said:
‘While this violence is to be condemned in the strongest possible terms… As well as the reported murders, many other hate crimes against transgender people (transphobic crimes) go unreported, ranging from verbal abuse in the street and the workplace through muggings, beatings and rape.
‘Perhaps worst of all is the attitude of many government agencies, many of which seem unconcerned at the extent of transphobic crimes. This has the result of enabling the rates of these crimes to escalate, because they send the message to the general population that it’s acceptable to display such prejudices – even against members of the authorities themselves.’
In April transgender woman Michelle Demishevich was attacked in an incident that she believes was to intimidate her into not testifying at a trial over an earlier attack.
Normally I only post petitions on my “Petitions” page, accessible by clicking “Petitions” in the gray bar near the top of my blog, directly under the blog banner. This petition, however, is of international importance and although it is not specific to trans* people (and the creator of the petition left out “gender” in their description of the petition and in the letter itself… grrrr…!), I am going to attribute this omission to tunnel vision, as I would like to believe that Secretary Clinton would have the intelligence and unbiased perspective to be inclusive in her approach to LGBT issues.
The following is reprinted from the “About this Petition” tab on the petition page for this petition on change.org:
The fight for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) rights does not stop in the United States; dozens of countries have horrific human rights violations based on their treatment of LGBT individuals. The United Nations is the only organization with the capacity and leadership to make significant progress toward a more equal and just world regardless of sexual orientation.
The United States has made clear that it supports the UN’s recent work on LGBT issues. In December 2011, Secretary of State Hillary Clinton made a historic speech in front of the United Nations declaring it a “violation of human rights” to commit violence or discrimination against people because of their sexual orientation. Send a letter to Secretary Clinton thanking her for her strong leadership and tell her to continue fighting for LGBT individuals.
While the fight is far from over, the UN has made significant developments in its response to LGBT human rights violations in the past year. Many of these initiatives have been the direct result of strong leadership from Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon who has taken a strong, supportive stance on the issue. Some member countries that are more conservative have shown their distaste for the conversation by walking out of Human Rights Council meetings when the topic has been brought up.
We need Hillary Clinton to continue being a strong force and to continue engaging the UN on the topic. Show your support for LGBT rights around the world by signing this petition, thanking Secretary Hillary Clinton for her leadership and encourage her to continue talking about LGBT rights at the UN and on the world stage.
World English Dictionaryyellow journalism— nthe type of journalism that relies on sensationalism and lurid exaggeration to attract readers http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/yellow+journalism
Yellow journalism, or the yellow press, is a type of journalism that presents little or no legitimate well-researched news and instead uses eye-catching headlines to sell more newspapers. Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism. By extension, the term yellow journalism is used today as a pejorative to decry any journalism that treats news in an unprofessional or unethical fashion. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_journalism
Thursday, 12 July 2012 15:08
Written by Sergio N. Candido
So Magic was asked the question he’s always been asked—how he got HIV—and he gave the same answer he has always given: “Sleeping with a lot of women.”
Gawker’s AJ Daulerio, however, writes that years back, a source told him Johnson might have actually gotten HIV not from a woman, but most likely during an infamous sex party at Eddie Murphy‘s mansion, where transsexual hookers were often involved.
The source wanted cash to go on the record, and the website didn’t have enough of it. But things have changed, and Gawker is now ready to write some checks: “If anyone has any more information about who gave Magic Johnson HIV, please feel free to contact us. I think we can afford to pay more money for this now,” Daulerio writes.
Zach Sire, editor of gay website the Sword, came out with guns blazing against Daulerio and his offer, calling him “dumb” and “sleazy.”
“If there’s one group of people whom you can trust with ‘information,’ it’s prostitutes and transexuals from orgies that happened over 20 years ago,” he writes in a sarcastic tone.
“A.J. Daulerio’s naivety has precluded him from realizing that even if he did receive proof of who gave Magic Johnson HIV publishing that person’s name would be illegal.”
We’re not sure what he meant by ‘illegal,’ you might get sued, but you can’t go to jail for publishing the name of someone who came forward and said he/she gave Magic Johnson HIV.
It is appalling to offer monetary compensation for revealing who exposed an individual to a chronic and likely terminal illness. That person is not only sick themselves, but may be deceased. Furthermore, it is unconscionable to sensationalize a story by exploiting an entire class of already oppressed human beings. Some—not all—transgender and transsexual women are sometimes forced into sex work as a last resort, in order to survive—sometimes in order to feed their children— just as cisgender women are. Headlines such as the one for this article serve to reinforce stereotypes about trans women. Finally, focusing on the behavior of prostitutes (oppressed women) instead of on that of their customers (in this case, privileged men of great wealth) who are using their male and monied privilege to take advantage of these women is pure misogyny; exploiting the possibility that these women may have been trans* is misogynistic and transphobic and is inexcusable in a “gay” publication. Many of my trans* friends support LGB people without reservation; I, however, am beginning to agree with those who doubt that LGB people in general truly have the best interest of trans* people at heart and am beginning to believe that they are merely including/using trans* people in the LGBT “community” (and I use the word “community” loosely, if not sarcastically) purely to increase their numbers.
1. What do you think of the headline for this article? Based on the 2 definitions of “yellow journalism” provided above, do you you think this article is an example of yellow journalism? Why or why not”?
2. Do you think trans* people should “secede” from the LTB movement and focus on needs specific to trans* people? Why or why not?
It was our second date, and he was just as kind and just as funny as he’d been the week before. Dan wasn’t the best looking guy in the room, but he knew his way around a joke, and he never ask me to pay for dinner. I was hooked.
He was a big guy, over six feet tall, blonde hair, and had beautiful hazel eyes. We bumped into each other at the local grocery store one afternoon after I accidentally threw myself under his shopping cart. Since that time, we’d gone to a movie and been to dinner. Our second date was to take place at his apartment where he was going to fix his famous homemade pizza. I’ve never been a big pizza fan, but I liked Dan, and I’d only been transitioning for a few years and at that time, any date was a great date. As long as there wasn’t any wacky sexual expectations, or signs of psychotic mania in the hallway, I was in. I was twenty two, and already completely and utterly desperate.
I was never one of those people in my community who lived a lie. I was Transgender and was never ashamed of it. After a suicide attempt at 16, when I finally found my Trans brothers and sisters, it was the first real breath I’d taken. I felt a huge weight lift off me, and every voice that told me I was insane, or wrong, or headed straight to Hell, was squelched. So I never went around pretending my past didn’t exist. I never purposely deceived people. I wanted to live in this new body I was constructing because for the first time in my life, my reflection was starting to match my spirit. I couldn’t have been happier, and I wanted to tell the world about it.
And so Dan was fully aware of what I was, where I came from, and where my heart was, and he was fine with it.
“I see you. All I know is what I see.”
He told me that within the first twenty minutes, which is why I said yes to the homemade pizza thing. I figured I’d found someone true and someone pure, and I wanted desperately to live with it for as long as he’d let me. And I’d do what I could to keep it going. And that included choking down cooked dough and tomato sauce.
We were sitting on his couch with the Chicago skyline blinking behind us and some Melissa Manchester blaring in the background. We sipped wine, chatted, and as the evening wore on, I suggested we see each other the next week. It was getting late, and taking the El past ten at night was always risky. Dan then looked me in the eye and took my hand:
“I want you to stay.” He said softly.
“Next time.” I said firmly.
I moved him aside and headed for the front door and my coat that was hanging on the brown, three-pronged hat rack in his hallway.
Suddenly, and without warning, I felt his hand on my shoulder. He turned me quickly toward him, and kissed me. The kiss was hard and almost painful. He then put his hands around my waist and pulled me toward him. I tried to get free, but the more I struggled, the tighter his grip became. My heart began to race in a way I’d never felt before, and my body went into a hyper-speed panic that I felt in the pit of my stomach. I knew I was in terrible, terrible trouble.
I put my hand on his thigh, and as he began to slowly release me, I balled up my fist, and hit him square in the groin. He jumped back in pain, and I turned toward the door, sweating and crying. My voice was stuck in me somehow. I couldn’t seem to scream, and my breath became shallow and deep. I also couldn’t really think. I saw the doorknob, but turning it became almost impossible. And as my hand reached for the sleeve of my coat, I was whisked back into the living room, and fell flat on my back. I landed inches from the coffee table, still clinging onto my coat. Dan’s eyes were red and huge and they glared at me with a rage and an anger that filled up the room. As I wriggled and tried to squirm away, before I knew it, he was on top of me, pinning down my wrists and spreading my thighs. And as he came close to me again, with his mouth near my neck, he felt between my legs, and popped his head up:
“You…?!” was all I heard.
His breath got hotter and closer to me, and he flipped me over on my stomach and began tearing at my dress.
I was raped that night.
I never went to the police and I never told another living soul. None of my friends knew, no one I worked with, and no family member ever found out. I kept this in me for almost 20 years. It was 1983, and being what I was, was not only against the law in Illinois, it was unheard of. I remember once, a girlfriend of mine was being chased by her boyfriend who was coming at her with a kitchen knife, and when she found a parked police car; out of breath and near hysterics, told them what she was running from, and the two cops laughed and told her to “act like a man.” So, I knew deep down that going to the police was useless.
In Sweden, where gay marriage is legal and where they lead the world in the pursuit of gay rights and gay legislation, a Transgender woman was raped in front of her apartment complex. The attacker, however, was charged with assault, because the judge claimed that:
“We believe that he wanted to rape… this woman. But as she proved to be a man, his plan [would] never have been possible.”
The judge concluded that the rape was “invalid” because the victim was anatomically a male. Instead, the perpetrator was convicted of assault and will pay just over $2,000 in damages to the woman.
I don’t know the answer to where it is we belong as a community. We’re the “T” on the end of LGBT, and we’re liars when we try and blend into a meeting of feminists. We’re standing on the outside of a lot of windows, and no one’s really championing for us to come in and tell our story. And in our own world, with our own people, there are Transgender men and women who proclaim their gender as the one given to them by whatever doctor they’ve written checks to. If we’re confused about where to go, and who we are, how can we expect the mainstream of society not to be either?
Whatever the answer is, on the way to finding it, on the way to trying to live with each other and be with each other, we have to stand our ground and we have to do it with assurance and power. But we can’t do it alone. We need help. We need other people. And we desperately need each other.
I was raped. I was raped and it took me years to figure out that it wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t to blame, and that it wasn’t my shame I was carrying around. Whatever it is anyone thinks of me, I was raped. We’ve taken huge steps in the last couple of decades. We’re here and we’re noticed, and we matter. I feel that. I love my community. I’m proud of who we are and where we’re headed, but I sometimes feel that when I step outside my own front door, I’m truly on my own. My country doesn’t have my back.
And as a world — a world of change and newness and brilliance — if we continue to keep our own prejudices and ignorance in the forefront of our jurisdiction and societal laws, we’ll eventually find our compassion and kindness will suffer. And soon, without warning and with total conviction, the silence around us will be deafening. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alexandra-billings/a-deafening-silence_1_b_1662968.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices
Someone in an LGBT group used the word “tranny” on a Facebook post recently and nobody said anything until I posted the following:
Uh, “tranny?” That is a horrible slur. It’s l-g-b-T, remember? Dehumanizing transgender people is worse than what NOM does, because WE KNOW BETTER.
People sometimes make jokes because they’re uncomfortable and don’t understand; I know I did. Here is the link to the first post in my blog that goes over some basic transgender issues; anyone who expects NOM people to learn and grow should be willing to do the same themselves. http://transcister.wordpress.com/2012/05/27/being-transgender-1-7-2/
Still, NOBODY commented and only 1 person “liked” my response. THIS WAS AN LGBT GROUP THAT SUPPOSEDLY ADVOCATES FOR LGBT PEOPLE. What’s worse is that the guy who wrote this is a member of 2 oppressed groups himself, one of which is sexual orientation. W-T-F?
Others in my Facebook advocacy groups have used that word or written other transphobic remarks and I have responded similarly (probably more tactfully, as I cared more about remaining in those groups) and in each case I received an apology and an explanation that the person didn’t know any better. And that’s okay if someone learns something. Some of these individuals also read some of my blog posts, which is better than okay.
I know, I know, those of you who are trans* have lived with this kind of nonsense your entire lives. IT IS UNACCEPTABLE. Well, at least I responded in such a way as to educate, leaving the door open for questions—from anyone—now or in the future. You don’t want to know what I wanted to say to him!