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BREAKING NEWS…. BagBrennan is in Love!

Yes, it’s true. The Gender Identity Witch is in love!

Allision heartI know it’s a bit early for Valentine’s Day, and I have a lot to do on this first day of the year 2015, but when I woke up this morning it suddenly occurred to me why Cunthy Brennut is so preoccupied with transgender people, and trans women in particular.  And I think I know why she seems so focused on my Facebook friend Allison Woolbert (CEO of the Transgender Violence Tracking Project and  Executive Director of the Transgender Human Rights Institute, a 501(c)(3) tax deductible organization dedicated to advancing the acceptance of transgender human rights), doxxing her, misgendering her, and devoting what must be literally hours of her day arduously ensuring that Google searches for Allison show links to her own sites on the first page of results.

I believe that Cunthy BagBrennan, of TERF Gender Identity Witch infamy, harbors a secret and undying passion for Allison Woolbert.

Let me tell you why.

  1. First of all, Allison Woolbert is an amazing woman, so that someone would develop such feelings towards her is not particularly surprising.  Allison has many admirers.
  2. Allison Woolbert conceptualized, developed and implemented the first and thus far only comprehensive tool for tracking all types of violence committed against transgender persons internationally, including discrimination, microaggressions and suicide — incidents the Transgender Day of Remembrance project has taken no interest in collecting information on or memorializing thus far. This is only one of Allison Woolbert’s many accomplishments, but it is one that has gained her international recognition and has likely triggered a primitive rage reaction in the Bag, creating an emotional conflict between her jealous infantile feelings of hate and her enduring admiration and love (immature and primitive as it is; perhaps “primary process thinking” would be a better term”) for Allison.
  3. The Bag is the epitome of the word “bully.”  Do you remember the bullies back in elementary school?  Well, I mean the socially misfit and emotionally immature heterosexual boys who picked on the girls that they liked? I’ve heard it speculated that Brennut is a closet trans man. Maybe she (or he?) is, maybe she (or he?) isn’t. It doesn’t matter to me and it’s not my business. But the behavior is clearly that of a stereotypical emotionally immature little boy who has a crush on a girl. That’s right, masculine behavior which the Bag professes to abhor.  It’s so sad. Pathetic, really.
  4. Many have theorized that the COCKroach is not a lesbian at all, as she professes to be, but is actually heterosexual; it is further theorized that she presents as a pretendbian lesbian in order to preserve her role as the Chief COCKroach-in-charge of the TERF fundamentalist group that claims to be radical feminists. Why else would she be so preoccupied with penises? Jeez, it seems that every word out of her mouth is “dick.” It makes me wonder whether she craves the real thing IN her mouth.
  5. In order for the Bag to have dick and Allison, i.e.  in order to maintain psychological congruence with her heterosexual (or gay trans man?) identity, the Bag must continue to insist that Allison — a woman — is actually a man.  There is simply no other way that the Bag can have both dick and Allison! The Bag must fantasize endlessly about Allison having… well, we don’t need to go there. (OMG, now I feel as though I’m going to throw up. BagCOCK fantasies — the material nightmares are made of.)

You see? It all makes sense!

Unfortunately, due to the Bag’s pathological and infantile narcissism, and several apparently undiagnosed and untreated personality disorders (my many years of experience as a licensed, clinical psychotherapist and my observations of the Bag’s behavior have led me to these tentative conclusions) manifests itself absurdly as pitiful personal attacks in order to gain Allison’s attention, and when that fails, pathological cyber-stalking behaviors.

Perhaps instead of attacking the poor woman we should pity her. I mean, if she were your sister, wouldn’t you be absolutely humiliated by her  behavior and be motivated by her obvious need for psychiatric treatment to get her help? Maybe we should start a GoFundMe account for getting the Bag psychiatric treatment.

But then, the success rate for treating personality disorders is not very high.  And sociopathy, which is a condition 0f brain biology — and is not a psychological condition as it was formerly thought to be — is essentially untreatable. Besides, I think I’d rather spend my money on more important things. Like paying for ice water for the other people who belong in hell. Or perhaps for jock straps for post-SRS trans women.

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RIP Leelah Alcorn

Leelah Angel

If you don’t know who Leelah Alcorn was, I’m sure you haven’t crawled out from under a rock just to read my blog. Just in case, Google her name to read about her tragic suicide. Get some tissues first because the story sucks.

But the purpose of this post is to pass on information to verify that the accounts of the torment  — psychological torture, actually — by her parents is absolutely true.

Read this, then please go to Transgender Graphics’ Facebook page by clicking on the picture to post your note of thanks to Mr. Davis for his support for the transgender community:

Leelah Davis post

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Don’t forget to click on the picture to post your note of thanks to Mr. Davis for his support for the transgender community.

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To report any incident of violence towards a transgender person anywhere in the world, please do so at the Transgender Violence Tracking Portal here.

 

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Jennifer & Marc: A Real-Life Love Story

Marc Süselbeck with the woman he loved – his fiancée Jennifer Laude   (before her savage and senseless murder by a US Marine)

An open letter to the bashers/detractors of murdered transgender Jennifer Laude, from her fiancé Marc Süselbeck

Following is a compilation of messages from Marc Süselbeck received by one Jennifer’s friends. Apparently Marc does not have a Facebook account but wanted to respond to some of the vile comments that he’s heard since Jennifer’s death. An update about Marc’s status and some final comments follow.

Posted on Facebook on October 8, 2014

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As if things couldn’t get any worse, Marc will not be able to return to the Philippines to visit Jennifer’s grave or to see her family:

 

Halloween deportation for Sueselbeck

Posted at 10/31/2014 2:56 PM | Updated as of 10/31/2014 3:40 PM

MANILA – The German fiance of slain transgender Jennifer Laude will leave the country tomorrow after his request for voluntary deportation was granted by the Bureau of Immigration.

Marc Sueselbeck will leave the country for Frankfurt, Germany.

His lawyer, Harry Roque, said Sueselbeck will hold a press conference prior to his departure.

Because of his voluntary deportation, Sueselback will be blacklisted and will no longer be allowed to return to the Philippines.

Sueselbeck was prevented from leaving the country last Sunday to face deportation proceedings for being an undesirable alien.

Last week, Sueselbeck and Laude’s sister Marilou climbed a perimeter fence inside Camp Aguinaldo in their search for US Marine Joseph Scott Pemberton, the suspect in Laude’s killing.

Sueselbeck later apologized for his actions and said he is not a threat to the Philippines.

http://www.abs-cbnnews.com/nation/10/31/14/halloween-deportation-sueselbeck

 

To report an incident of violence anywhere in the world, contact the Trans Violence Tracking Portal here.

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Besides the horrible violence of this case, which tends, unfortunately, to be the case for many murders committed against transgender persons worldwide, there are 2 things that have struck me about Jennifer and Marc:

  1. I cannot help but be in awe of Jennifer’s beauty. There is something about her pictures that makes it very difficult for me to tear my eyes away.  It’s more than about what Jennifer looked like – it’s something about her. After reading the above comments from Marc and seeing the picture of Jennifer and Marc together, I think I know what it is…blank for blog
  2.  Marc loved Jennifer.  Just how much he loved her is reflected in his writing, the way he looked at her and the radiance in her face in the photographs of her.  Not everyone gets the opportunity to experience that kind of love, and it often doesn’t come around more than once in a lifetime.  It seems pretty clear that Marc felt lucky to have met and loved Jennifer; I wonder whether anyone has ever or will ever tell Marc how lucky Jennifer was to have had his love – not because she was trans — but because he seems to be a genuinely loving and caring man and any (non-lesbian) woman would be lucky to have him.

 

 

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Trans American

Strength

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Picture courtesy of Transgender Graphics’ Facebook Page:

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Katie Couric Blows

…her interview with Carmen Carrera and Laverne Cox.

Photo courtesy of ThinkProgress

…and learns nothing from her own so-called “teachable moment.”

When Will Non-Transgender People Wake Up to Themselves?

Reprinted from the Huffington Post
Posted: 01/14/2014 1:19 pm

Fiona Dawson


Producer and host, ‘TransMilitary’;
member of the Board of Directors,
National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association

 
What Katie Couric’s “teachable moment” missed.

Katie Couric totally missed what she referred to as the “teachable moment” in her interview with Carmen Carrera and Laverne Cox. Sadly, what she did do is reinforce the reality that society as a whole has a long way to go in coming to understand who they know themselves to be.

Couric’s questions said more about her — and her audience’s — ignorance of what is it to be human than it did about their lack of knowledge of being transgender.

At the crux of the situation is that sex does not equal gender. When we’re born we are assigned a sex based on what genitalia is seen between our legs. The error occurs when we make assumptions on someone’s gender based on that sex assignment label.

Assigning someone as female at birth does not mean their gender is female. Assigning someone as a male at birth does not mean their gender is male.

Gender can been seen with three different elements: 1) Who you know yourself to be, 2) how you express yourself to the world, and 3) how the world sees you.  

Sex organs do not define gender. Regardless of what we have beneath our clothes our gender is defined in ways beyond our body. Further, the gender we know ourselves to be is a deeply personal experience — if we have the courage to explore it.

No one would ever ask, “Katie, what does your vagina look like today? You’ve given birth twice, right? Has it lost any elasticity?” So why should she ask Carrera what status her genitalia is currently in? How is that Couric’s or her audience’s right to know? And how is that relevant to the gender Carrera knows or expresses?

Asking about sex organs is a) inappropriate and b) shortsighted to understanding the experience of being transgender.

If Couric was more aware of her own gender she would never dare view Carrera as a person who should have to describe the anatomy between her legs. While it may be very personally pertinent to how Carrera feels as a human being, it is no one’s prerogative to use her genitalia or state of transition to make a judgment on her gender. It’s simply not relevant to how we should see Carrera.

With class and compassion Carrera and Cox seized upon the “teachable moment” themselves, highlighting the horrific violence, oppression and discrimination transgender people face. But what doubled the disappointment was that Couric did not listen. She had a list of questions in her head and could not lead the dialogue appropriately. She hadn’t even bothered to learn correct vocabulary, making her use of “transgenders” majorly cringe worthy.

Nonetheless, whether we are transgender or not, why should anyone care what anyone else’s genitals look like? We are all born with what we have and the only reason someone may assert that our body is ‘wrong’ is if that body doesn’t meet the expectation placed upon it. Remove the expectation and allow that human being to just be. Only we know what it’s like to experience being ourselves. Neither Carrera’s nor Couric’s genitalia define the “correctness” of their bodies.

People who are not transgender, who do indeed identify with their sex assigned at birth, are known as cisgender. I would make a guess that Couric is cisgender.

The cisgender obsession with transgender people’s sex organs indicates that cisgender people don’t really know enough about what defines their own state of being. Quite frankly, if as Couric says, “it’s still a mystery to some people,” then go read a biology book or Google it. Stop and think about what defines your own gender. Does Couric really think that it’s her own vagina that makes her a woman? If you’re curious as to the pain level of gender reassignment surgery (GRS) imagine the pain level of any other surgery. Or ask about the fearful pain of isolation due to cisgender lack of self-awareness and awareness of others.

If Couric wants to give a platform to raise awareness and understanding of what it is to be transgender, then she should help her audience come to understand gender dysphoria. Help them understand what it is like for the world to tell you that you’re somebody who you know deep down inside that you’re not. She should ask what it is like to find the courage to realize this. Then ask how you find the incredible bravery to share those thoughts and feeling with another person. Finally, in spite of transgender people facing massively higher rates of murder, rape, unemployment, homelessness, and many other terrors, ask how they find the valor to be who they authentically know they are.

After all of this, Couric’s response to the outcry was this is a “teachable moment.” Yeah, thanks to Carrera and Cox who made the lemonade! Okay, Couric’s train wreck did get people talking, which is always a good thing. But there was no apology. And how much did she, her employer, or her audience learn when today there’s a link on her website to “Meet the Children Who Feel They Were Born in the Wrong Body”? Really? If anything had been taught this should read, “Meet the Children Who Do Not Identify With Their Sex Assigned At Birth.” And again, there was no apology.

To understand more about being transgender we need to talk more about being human. We’re all assigned a sex at birth, but we don’t all agree with the gender that is associated with that original label. Some courageous people actually have the wherewithal to speak up, do something about it and live their life authentically, which is a lot more than many cisgender people do in the world.

Follow Fiona Dawson on Twitter: www.twitter.com/fionajdawson

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Catherine Brennan, aka “bugbrennan”: REMOVE ALL SITES COMPLETELY.

Catherine Brennan, aka "bugbrennan": REMOVE ALL SITES COMPLETELY.

Petition by:

Ada dei Aiutrix

 Ada dei Aiutrix
Asheville, NC
 

This petition is reprinted  below in its entirety as it appeared on 12-30-13.  Links to the petition are highlighted in red.  Clicking one of these links will open a new tab and take you directly to the petition.

Stop Cathy Brennan -Cyberbullying, Sexual Harassment, and Exploitation of Minors

(see other complaint methods below)

Previously and perhaps still an attorney in Maryland, Catherine Brennan, also known as bugbrennan, has repeatedly made several post on her web sites releasing personal info about specific individuals without consent including transgender teens, which is the exploitation of minors.  If you have info on and or have been harassed by this woman as a minor, please contact the Baltimore Police Department:  http://www.baltimorepolice.org/ The next step after getting the sites down will be pressing charges and prosecution for exploitation of minors and sexual harassment.You may also make child exploitation reports at The National Center for Missing and Exploited Childrenhttps://report.cybertip.org/

Click here to sign the petition on change.org

Please See The History Of Cathy Brennan’s Abuse: http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Cathy Brennan

Please help stop Cathy Brennan from cyber bullying and harassing transgendered male-to-female individuals as well as other groups of people, including transgender teens. She has repeated used names, images, and screenshots of individual’s user accounts and messages from Facebook, Twitter,and other social networking sites. She does so with intent to deface, derail, and openly discriminate against trans-women or anyone for that matter that she does not like. This behavior has been going on for years and her persistence is tactful with intentionally provoking individuals to get angry with her and then use this messages to claim that the individual is a woman hater. Her insanity and belligerence is disgraceful to anyone whom identifies within and or supports the LGBTQ communities as well as women’s rights. It is believed she uses her previous experience as an attorney to tactfully get away with her actions, claiming freedom of speech by posting people’s personal online information without consent. Freedom of speech is one matter, abuse of this freedom is another. The main sites in question where she post personal info derailing trans-women:

http://pretendbian.wordpress.com/ and
http://bugbrennan.com/ and
http://privilegedenyingtranny.wordpress.com

there is also other accounts that I am collecting at the moment, and will add them as I find them.  She provokes individuals using her facebook account https://www.facebook.com/iambugbrennan and her twitter account https://twitter.com/bugbrennan and post without consent on these sites as well. She screen-shots the conversions as they are happening. How to contact the domain name server for all wordpress sites including:  bugbrennan.com in which also has discrimination and cyber bullying. By contacting the domain name servers directly, a possible chance of removing the sites faster could be initiated. Both seemed to be owned by wordpress. Her previous tumbler account that contained similar abuse was shut down through another petition.

Click here to sign the petition on change.org

Domain Name: BUGBRENNAN.COM
 Created on: 13-Dec-11
 Expires on: 13-Dec-12
 Last Updated on: 13-Dec-11
Private, Registration  BUGBRENNAN.COM@domainsbyproxy.com
 Domains By Proxy, LLC
 DomainsByProxy.com
 14747 N Northsight Blvd Suite 111, PMB 309
 Scottsdale, Arizona 85260
 United States
 (480) 624-2599      Fax -- (480) 624-2598
Domain servers in listed order:
 NS1.WORDPRESS.COM
 NS2.WORDPRESS.COM

The Following Site Should Also be Informed of Her Actions: this could be her next attempt to repeat the abuse again though this site currently says under construction:

Registrant:
Domain Name: RECESSIONFATIGUE.COM
Record expires on 25-Feb-2014.
 Record created on 25-Feb-2009.
 Database last updated on 23-Oct-2012 22:08:59 EDT.
Domain servers in listed order:
 NS25.WORLDNIC.COM            205.178.190.13
 NS26.WORLDNIC.COM            206.188.198.13

Other places to make reports of abuse:  Although the following abuse pages are for situations regarding this, Cathy repeatedly counter acts all complaints by saying you harassed her. Also be aware that both facebook and twitter could care less about any threat to children or minors and will usually avoid any investigation into the matter, however repeated reports may help remove her social networking accounts as well.

Click here to sign the petition on change.org

Her pretendbian site is on wordpress, you can use the wordpress complaint page to issues a complaint: http://en.wordpress.com/complaints/

Facebook Abuse Violations Page:  http://www.facebook.com/help/263149623790594/

Twitter Abuse Violations Page: http://support.twitter.com/groups/33-report-abuse-or-policy-violations#


To:
Domains By Proxy, LLC – DomainsByProxy.com, (480) 624-2599 Fax – (480) 624-2598
Remove all sites completely.
Catherine Brennan, aka “bugbrennan” has posted personal information, names, and photos as well as messages of trans-women with the intent to cyberbully, sexually harass, derail, discriminate, and cyber bully transgendered male-to-female individuals including transgender teens and other groups of people. Complaints have been made repeatedly and she is still at it, making post, and placing peoples personal info on her wordpress sites including other domains. Please help stop Cathy Brennan from cyber bullying and harassing transgendered male-to-female individuals as well as other groups of people, including transgender teens. She has repeated used names, images, and screenshots of individual’s user accounts and messages from Facebook, Twitter,and other social networking sites. She does so with intent to deface, derail, and openly discriminate against transgendered individuals or anyone for that matter that she does not like. This behavior has been going on for years and her persistence is tactful with intentionally provoking individuals to get angry with her and then use this messages to claim that the individual is a woman hater. Her insanity and belligerence is disgraceful to anyone whom identifies within and or supports the LGBTQ communities as well as women’s rights. It is believed she uses her previous experience as an attorney to tactfully get away with her actions, claiming freedom of speech by posting people’s personal online information without consent. Freedom of speech is one matter, abuse of this freedom is another. Please shut down all her sites permanently before her actions lead to another teen suicide from cyberbullying and sexual harassment.
Petition against wordpress sites:  
Against Social Networking Sites:

Sincerely,

[Your name]

COCKroach RATfem “Protecting” Her TERF From Imaginary Demons

COCKRoach RATFem Bitch Brennan pisses on fire hydrant to protect her TERF

Bitch Brennan Pissing on Fire Hydrant to Protect Her TERF

TERF

Definition

Acronym for Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist. That group of feminists that claims that trans women aren’t really women, as biological determinism is only a fallacy when used against them, not when they use it against others.

Usage

Isn’t it mindboggling that the Royal College of Psychiatrists would invite a TERF like Julie Bindel to come talk at a study day on transgenderism and transsexuality? That’s like inviting Fred Phelps to come deliver the keynote at a gay pride. http://queerdictionary.tumblr.com/post/3891289414/terf

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TERF.   Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminist.   I learned a new acronym today in the midst of the KKKristian right’s latest efforts to malign transender people by bullying a transgender teen in Colorado.   It seems that RATfem COCKroach CatBitch Brennan—a lesbian—is siding with the  Pacific Justice Institute (PJI), an organization that endorses—even promotes—scientifically de-bunked gay conversion “therapy,” and is aligning herself with right-wing anti-gay activists who hate people just like her.  I guess that makes her a whore as well as a hypocrite.  Geez, that piece of RATrash scum gives cis women, lesbians, real feminists and the rest of humanity a bad name.

I originally read about this story in the UK’s Daily Mail, which has since removed their article from its site. The Examiner printed a well-placed retraction and apology, but the conservative media, including Faux News continues to perpetuate the lies.  Nobody has personally apologized to the teen; this was verified and communicated to me directly from the girl’s mother.  Lies, LIES and more LIES.  http://www.transadvocate.com/daily-news-pulls-story-examiner-prints-retraction-fox-news-keeps-the-lie-going.htm I only recently started spending more time online and have been neglecting this blog.  In normal circumstances, I would have addressed this story here; however, I found myself involved peripherally in the story, as the girl being bullied in the KKKristian right’s latest ploy to malign transgender people (who I will refer to as “J,” both because I do not out people and because she is a minor) sent me a Facebook friend request after I posted a few supportive comments to her, and I have been busy posting updates and facts on Facebook pages as well as supportive comments to “J” and her family since.  I was pleased to be able to connect “J’s” mom w/Cristan Williams, Editor of the Transadvocate; look for an in-depth interview with “J” and her  family by Cristan in the Transadvocate in the next few days. https://www.facebook.com/transadvocate/posts/10151712762962532. I will try to update soon; meanwhile, I’ll likely be posting on facebook:    But first I gotta ask:

…WTF is wrong With the Queen TERF?

Besides the obvious?  For a lesbian so preoccupied with penises, it is certainly a question worthy of consideration.  I wonder what her current company would say???

“All that fucking dyke needs is a good fuck by a real man.  THAT’ll show her.”

“She’s too ugly to get a man so she’s pretending to BE a man.  That’s why she’s a lesbian.”

“She wants to be a man.  That’s why she seduces our women and takes our jobs away from us.  That’s why those lezzie dykes will burn in hell.”

“I can’t let that butch bitch near my family.  She’s a predator.”

“Don’t let that bull-dyke near children.  She’ll try to convert them to homosexuality.  Fucking Perverts.”

Oh, wow.  Does any of that sound familiar?  All I can tell you is that I’ve seen what this RatFem-preoccupied-with-penises-COCKroach looks like and we’ve all seen what she is:  My trans women friends are far more beautiful—both inside and out. 

End of pos

TranCIStioning

Transition

I see transitioning not as a single event, but as a life-long process.

tran·si·tion

/tranˈziSHən/

Noun
The process or a period of changing from one state or condition to another.

Verb
Undergo or cause to undergo a process or period of transition: “we had to transition to a new set of products”

Synonyms
passage — change — crossing — transit

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I have neglected this blog for a long time (geez! almost a year!) not because I don’t think it’s important, but because I have a lot going on in my life and writing is not easy for me.  Actually, it’s because I am transitioning.

I am not trying to minimize the experiences of trans* people nor trying to equate my transitioning to gender transition, but there are some similarities, which I hope I can adequately articulate and not  get my trans* friends pissed off at me (screw the RatFaux-Feminists.)  I believe that many people are in constant transition, continually evolving, developing new relationships, learning from those people & those relationships and from other life experiences.  I’m not sure that all people are continually transitioning, as some seem to stagnate and not appear to learn anything, nor do they seem to grow or improve as human beings (e.g., NOMmers, Westboro Baptist Church, and other fundamentalist christians who cherry-pick the bible to justify their ignorance and hate, etc.)  I like to think that I am continually learning, growing, and becoming a more complete (not necessarily better 😉 ) person.  Perhaps that is delusional thinking, but I am going to indulge myself anyway.  After all, this is my blog and I am Queen.  😀

There are all kinds of life transitions and we celebrate many of them:  Births, birthdays, onset of puberty, questioning and/or realizing that one does not adhere to society’s cisgender and/or heterosexual norm (I did NOT say “normal”— “norm” is a statistical term), coming out (or deciding not to) as transgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual, pansexual, etc., obtaining a driver’s license, a new job, voting for the first time, buying a car, starting high school/college/graduate school, graduations, starting/ending relationships, engagements, marriages, civil unions, anniversaries, divorces (yes, there are people who throw divorce parties), buying a house, relocating, children moving out of the house, onset of perimenopause and menopause, illnesses, changes (and possible limitations) related to aging… and, finally death—our own and those of family and friends.  Some of these transitions are marked with single events, while some take place over a period of time.  In talking to my trans* friends, I would conclude that coming out as transgender, real-life experience (RLE) (i.e., appearing in public dressed, groomed and presenting as one’s true gender,) beginning hormone therapy, and sex reassignment surgery (SRS) are among the major transition points in the life of a transgender person’s gender transition.

Before I try to describe my current transitioning (i.e., my rationalization for neglecting this blog, lol,) I am going to describe some events in my own life that may explain why I feel comfortable with trans women, and perhaps why I feel less comfortable with trans men (see my blog entry “A Penis? Uh… NO, thanks… No Penis for Me!” for my diatribe against trans men attending women’s colleges.)  First, another definition:

trans·gen·der

/tranzˈjendər/

Adjective

Definition:  A transgender person is someone whose personal idea of gender does not correlate with his or her assigned gender role.  It does not exclusively refer to transsexual persons, i.e. those who are transitioning or have transitioned from one gender to another; all transsexual persons are transgender, but not all transgender persons are transsexual.  A transgender person is anyone who fully accepts a gender identity—androgynous, hermaphroditic, intersex, transsexual, third gender, bigender, or otherwise gender non-conformistdoes not match his or her assigned gender [emphasis added.]

Common Misspellings: transgendered

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At the risk of completely alienating all of my tran* friends, I am going to say it:
~ ducks, runs & hides, wondering how to get into Witness Protection… ~

According to the broad definition of “transgender” above, I contend that I would, in fact, be considered transgender.

Now, TAKE A DEEP BREATH!  Allow me to explain.  Again, I am not trying to equate my experience with those of my transgender sisters who are transgender in the conventional sense, i.e., born with a hormonal system and/or body parts (i.e., sex) that do/does not match their gender.  I am a cisgender woman with all of the female parts (some people would argue vis-à-vis the presence of breasts, but hey, I’m 54 years old and… well… what goes up, must come down 😉 ) there has never been any question about this.  But I received some confusing childhood gender-related messages and I have never been one to take on any role that someone else has decided and assigned to me.

I would say that a person begins developing their identity as a person with their name and assigned gender.  What are the questions we ask when someone has a baby?  “Is it a girl or a boy?” and “What is her/his name?” are the first 2 that come to my mind.  And I would imagine that their name and presumed gender are the first 2 things a baby learns about themself from most parents (I don’t remember laying the gender thing on my daughter until later when I told her to be careful not to fall and crack her head open because her brains might fall out and she would turn into a boy….)

Let’s start with my name.  I have a boy’s name.  Okay, “Jody” is more common as a girl’s name now, but it is almost always spelled with an “i” or “ie” (or “ee”) instead of a “y”, and it was certainly uncommon back in the dark ages when I was born.  When I was 3 or 4, Santa called me “Judy.” Yes, this could have been a simple & understandable error, but it’s happened my whole life whenever someone screwed up my name (which happened frequently) and already knew I was female.  On the other hand, substitute teachers would take attendance, asking, “Jody? Where is he?”  It was never, ever, evershe.”  And everyone, when learning that I am, in fact, female and my name is, in fact, spelled with a “y” would inform me that I spell my name “the boy’s way.”  Dammit!  I was a girl!  And dammit!  I didn’t pick the stupid name or decide how to spell it!

Until the 4th grade, my mother made me keep my hair short despite the fact that I wanted long hair.  I don’t know whether my desire for long hair had anything to do with expressing femininity, I just wanted long hair, dammit!  I do remember at least once or twice someone mistaking me for a boy in a very public way when I was prepubescent.  It was humiliating—obviously, as I still remember it.  In any case, despite having very thin hair due to a thyroid problem, at 54 years old my hair is almost down to my waist and if it would grow any longer, it would be even longer.

I remember how happy I was when my mother allowed me to pick out my own clothes—even those I would receive as Christmas and birthday gifts.  I really hated some of the clothes she bought for me before that.   I recall 1 specific incident about a teacher thinking that my raincoat belonged to a boy and this was expressed in a public and very humiliating manner.  I’ve never gone for a lot of pink, ruffly lacy crap.

When I started elementary school, girls were not permitted to wear pants to school.  Yes, this is true.  When the policy changed and I told my mother I wanted to wear pants, at first she didn’t believe me (and I was a painfully honest child, so that created other issues) and then she reluctantly allowed me to wear “nice” pants, but only twice/week.  I was what then was called a “tomboy” and didn’t like wearing dresses because I was very active and dresses are not conducive to, for example, doing cartwheels.  I didn’t play with dolls or other “girl” toys (I never had a Barbie) and preferred to play outside, riding my bike, climbing trees, digging in the dirt or exploring the woods.

I clearly remember being at a community swimming pool with my entire family (I must have been about 11) and my parents very loudly discussing the hair on my legs and whether it was time for me to start shaving my legs.  I was already extremely self-conscious (I think my mother had already started telling my sister that she was “the pretty one” and I was “the smart one”; you can imagine the messages we got from that!) and this public humiliation made it worse.  And, no, my mother did not allow me to start shaving my legs for a couple of years after that even though kids made fun of my hairy legs.

Despite my perception that I had a body resembling that of a  young boy, I started dating at 12½ and was “boy-crazy” for years.  It wasn’t about sex:  I didn’t have sex until almost 19.  I came from a family that did not express love or affection either verbally or physically in any meaningful way, so that probably accounts for most of my need for romantic relationships (I couldn’t stand having anyone else touch me), but maybe I was also trying to prove my femininity… to the world or to myself.  I don’t know.   (Having recently been told by a rather, shall I say, “voluptuous” woman that I have the body of an adolescent boy, I LMAO and took it as a compliment!  At my age that is definitely a good thing!  Poor old witch didn’t mean it as a compliment though.)

In school I always did well in math & science which I was not “supposed” to do because I was a girl.  Can you believe that BS?  But I also did well in foreign languages and everything else.  The one clear identity I always had was that of student (and employee) with a role to achieve and excel.  And for the most part, I did.  But I didn’t have a clear sense about what it meant to be a woman.  When someone walked into a room with their baby, I was more likely to leave the room than I was to do the baby talk thing.  I refused to let anyone push me into traditional roles but encountered pressures and stereotypes (especially when working in a male-dominated field) on an ongoing basis. Even when I changed fields and entered the female-dominated field of professional social work, I wasn’t the stereotypical social worker because I’m not the warm and pleasant touchy-feely outgoing type person that everyone likes; in fact, I’m quite introverted and don’t give a rat’s ass whether people like me or not.

When the biological clock kicked in and I gave birth to my daughter at 36, I assumed the role of mother in addition to employee.   Naturally I wanted to excel.  I read baby books, went to La Leche League meetings, read more books, talked to friends, read books, decided to ignore conflicting information I received from people I didn’t trust & to trust professionals and my own instincts, & read more books.  I used cloth diapers, breastfed and made my own baby food.  I did my best as a single parent to give my child the love,  support & sense of identity I never got while growing up.

When I became disabled & no longer able to work I was absolutely devastated.  Work had always been at the core of my identity, and until my daughter was born, my entire identity essentially revolved around work.  When my child ended up in foster care (through no fault of mine—a very loonnngggg and unpleasant story) and having had my only remaining real identity in essence ripped from me, I was lost.   I had been forced into several major transitions in my life but was so busy grieving the losses that I did not recognize the opportunities that these overlapping transitions precipitated by these horrendous life-altering events had provided for me.

I became an advocate and activist for LGBT people and others on Facebook.  I learned about issues and hate groups, and helped get some hate pages/groups shut down on Facebook.  I met 100s of new people, made new friends and revived friendships that had been inactive for decades. I learned the word “pomosexual” and have appropriated it to describe my sexual orientation.  I learned the word “cisgender” and learned that I am one.  I learned a lot about gender and am starting to wrap my head around the concept of non-binary gender.  I learned (mostly by reading) a lot about transgender issues and developed friendships with several transgender women who I consider my sisters.  I have learned about myself and learned to let the little things go and deal with the big things more calmly (which came with a price.)  I know more about the foster care system in the State of Florida than anyone would ever want to know (it’s even worse than people think it is.)  I learned that even people smart enough to graduate from law school can be too stupid to learn to understand that bipolar disorder is a medical—biological—disorder of the brain.  I learned that you can’t fix stupid and no matter how good a parent you are and how you raise them, some kids just don’t turn out the way one would expect them to.

During and prior to that period of transitioning, I was subject to physical, psychological and emotional trauma and there were times that my life was literally in danger.  I developed Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and continue to meet the full criteria for the disorder, although I am less frequently exposed to the source of trauma and lethality has been diminished by making some changes in my life.   One of the things I had to do to survive during that time was to numb myself emotionally and I continue to experience “feeling[s] of detachment or estrangement from others” and “restricted range of  affect (e.g., unable to have loving feelings.”  Therefore, a primary goal in my current period of transition is to take back my life:  i.e., to re-establish a stable sense of personal identity, become more functional physically & cognitively, work towards experiencing a wider range of emotions, feel productive—giving something back to the world, and find more purpose in my life.  So, that’s what I’ve been doing.  I think writing this has served some of these purposes.  Why the hell you read it is beyond me. 🙂

blue butterfly

This is how I view my current period of transition.

End of pos

Stop Exploiting Transgender Women!

Yeah, yeah, I know, another petition after I just posted that I normally only post petitions on my “Petitions” page (accessible by clicking “Petitions” in the gray bar near the top of my blog, directly under the blog banner.)   But I just had a conversation with some of my trans women friends about this a couple of days ago, in particular about Jerry Springer exploiting trans women for his show….

The following is reprinted from the “About this Petition” tab on the petition page for this petition on change.org:

Stop Exploiting Transgender Women!

For many years, producers of The Jerry Springer Show & The Maury Povich Show have shamelessly exploited Transgender women on national and international television. We demand they halt all production and re-airing of episodes that include content related to the exploitation of Transgender Individuals.

The Jerry Springer Show often features transwomen who are then ridiculed, called ‘he/shes’ (among other derogatory terms), and verbally and physically assaulted by other guests and audience members. Transwomen are told by stage security that they are not allowed to defend themselves against the vicious physical attacks of cis-gendered women because unlike the cis-gendered women, they are still ‘men’. In many episodes, producers deliberately paint the picture of a man who is ‘tricked’ by a TGirl into having sexual relations with her, and turn him gay. They all end with a grand reveal in which the TGirl admits she was born with male genitalia. These (often scripted) story lines invite the misconception in society that transwomen should be feared because they are some sort of sexual predators. This content also erroneously labels men who are attracted to (or have sexual relations with) transwomen as ‘gay’.

The Maury Povich Show continues to re-air episodes with titles such as “Man Or Woman?” in which cis-gendered and transgendered women are brought in front of a live audience who calls out “That’s a man!” or “That’s a woman!” judging by her physical or vocal features. After the audience has decided what type of women these guests are, the guests then reveal their gender with signs that read “I’m a woman” or “I’m a man”. These episodes promote stereotypes about Transwomen’s appearances and true gender. They also contribute to society’s invalid belief that gender is defined by a person’s masculine or feminine features.

Make no mistake, transwomen ARE women. We will not continue to suffer in silence while mainstream media uses our vey existence for their amusement, spreading a culture of fear, hate and violence against us at the very same time. We ask our friends, our families and every other member of the LGBT Community to join us as we stand united during the LGBT Civil Rights Movement at large.


Click on the following link to sign the petition:   http://www.change.org/petitions/stop-exploiting-transgender-women.  A new tab or window will open and you will be taken directly to that petition on change.org.  When done, close the tab and you should be returned here.
 
  
 

Ratfem COCKroach

ROFLMAO!  Apparently the RATfem fauxminists didn’t like my posts about them, their transphobia and their general misogyny.  Oh, boo flucking hoo.  How do I know that?  Well RATmouth herself, Cathy “COCKroach” bug Brennan was lurking on my blog—this blog—and posted a comment apparently attempting to intimidate me.  Lawyers!  In my experience lawyers use intimidation when they have NOTHING to say in response—when the other party has made a valid argument, they have been pushed into a corner and have no other option but to resort to lawyer games.  Well COCKroach, hun, there’s no jury here to play to and intimidation doesn’t work on me, so you’re shit out of luck!  Save your drama for the courtroom because I’m not impressed.

Following is an example of how COCKroach Cathy distorts reality to fit her own agenda, straight from the horse’s ass’ mouth.  In short, Cathy COCKroach Brennan hates trans women and justifies this by refusing to acknowledge that they are, in fact “real” women, and she deliberately misgenders them, calling them “men,” both privately and in public.   Immediately preceding the video, which was made at this year’s Dyke March in New York City,  you will see the text that COCKroach posted under the video; that will give you the opportunity to read the text first and specifically look for the accusations she makes and remain aware of how she attempts to manipulate emotions with the use of violent and  emotionally-laden words and expressions:

A message from the woman who kindly taped this, who prefers to remain anonymous:

“I have uploaded the edited video in a zip file, here is the URL…

…..

Also, it seems important to acknowledge that we began filming when they started getting more heated up and it seemed as if they could possibly escalate into something physical. It seemed that when they approached some of the people they approached with were video taping. There were other people recording throughout. Given that one of the women involved prominently had no shirt on, we did not feel comfortable passing on the video with her body exposed on the internet. She might be ok with it. But we feel women should be able to have their shirts off without being filmed and placed on the internet even when they are being jerks. As blacking out parts of someone’s body in video is not easy when you are not a professional, the blocking out is shoddy, but well intended.

Also, while they mention your posse, we just met and if we are correct, the other people you just ran into when you ran into us. So a few minutes earlier or later and you would have been on your own with no one to witness whatever happened. That is a scary thought.”

A note from Cathy Brennan: The only person I was at the Dyke March with was a very good friend of mine. I just met all of the Dykes who stood by me when Ida Hammer and her gang accosted me. The idea that I had a posse is ridiculous. Ida and her gang were looking for a fight. I think they were frustrated when I didn’tsubmit.” As a survivor of rape and assault,  I understand what tactics I need to employ to navigate/survive certain situations. Walking away was not an option for me, because it was clear to me they were out for blood. I am embarrassed for the NYC Dyke March that a Dyke would be attacked at the Dyke March. I am sad for what has happened to the Dyke community.

Also, I have not watched this video, nor will I, as I am still dealing with the anxiety from being attacked by Ida Hammer and her gang.

More:    [and then she lists more than 20 links; emphasis added]

Note the  emotionally-laden words that I have highlighted in red.  Many of  these words are violent and suggest violence on the part of the women who verbally confronted the COCKroach on her transphobia, but, as you will see in the video, there was no violence and none was threatened.  COCKroach Cathy is a lawyer and lawyers make money by manipulation, particularly by manipulating words.  Brennan herself admits that she hasn’t even watched the video!  COCKroach Cathy is full of crap.

Click on the picture or the link below to watch the video.  A new tab or window will open. You will need to start the video yourself (it is about 20 minutes long.)  When you are finished, close the tab and you should be returned here to read the remainder of this post.

a walk in the park

by Wednesday, June  27, 2012 7:13 a.m.

 

I saw ZERO violence or threats of violence on the part of the trans* or pro-trans* people in this video.  I saw the pro-trans* people assert themselves verbally, but I saw no aggression.  In fact, the COCKroach was not “accosted” or “attacked”  and the pro-trans* people obviously were not “out for blood”  or “looking for a fight,” as the COCKroach was clearly outnumbered and it would have been no challenge for someone to squash her under their foot as one normally does with a cockroach—a filthy, disease-carrying nuisance insect that serves no useful purpose on this earth.  Oh, and the “gang” the COCKroach refers to looked as though they belonged at a Pride parade or celebration and were hardly intimidating.  If I wasn’t intimidated at 5’4,” 120 pounds and in my 50s, I’m sure the COCKroach didn’t give her safety a second thought… EXCEPT in terms of spinning her stupid little fairy tale about being attacked by trans* supporters.  “Dealing with anxiety” my ass!   I’ve seen corpses that are more anxious then the COCKroach is in that video.  The only anxiety the COCKroach experienced was in deciding how she was going to spin her story to make herself look like a victim… and she did a pretty shitty job of even doing that!

Lawyers!   When they know they’re wrong or have no valid argument they SPIN the facts to meet their purpose… or they LIE.  The COCKroach might as well give up now; she really shouldn’t bother messing with somebody who’s smarter than she is because that misogynous, hate-filled, control-freak, transphobic bitch does not scare me.

RIP Seçil Anne

reprinted from: GAYSTARNEWS
http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/another-trans-woman-murdered-turkey130712

Another trans woman murdered in Turkey

Violence against trans women in Turkey continues as Seçil Anne is stabbed to death in Antalya

13 July 2012 | By Anna Leach
Secil Anne, trans woman murdered in Antalya, Turkey, this week

The onslaught of violence against trans women in Turkey has shown no sign of abating with the tragic news that another was murdered this week.

Seçil Anne, a trans sex worker, was murdered where she lived in Antalya on the southwe

stern coast of Turkey on Tuesday night (10 July). She was found dead at her home at 11pm by police after her friends alerted them when they couldn’t reach her. Her throat had been slit and face slashed.

Turkish trans activist Kemal Ordek said that dozens of trans people gathered outside Seçil Anne’s apartment after hearing of her murder.

The local police said they had started an investigation and were checking CCTV cameras near Secil Anne’s home and interviewing her ex-boyfriend and close friends.

In June around 100 residents gathered in Altındağ in Antalya to protest the presence of transgender sex workers in their neighborhood. They warned that they would get violent if the police did not resolve the problem. It is not know if Seçil Anne, born Neşe Dilşeker in 1966, lived in this area.

The circumstances of Seçil Anne’s murder are almost identical to that of Derya Y, a transgender women who was stabbed to death in Altındağ in February 2010.

The Trans Murder Monitoring project shows that Turkey has by far the most reported murders of trans people in Europe, with 23 reported from January 2008 until December 2011.

An anonymous blog post on the alarming situation in Turkey said this week that the murders are ‘only the tip of the iceberg’. The post published on the Birds of Paradox blog said:

‘While this violence is to be condemned in the strongest possible terms… As well as the reported murders, many other hate crimes against transgender people (transphobic crimes) go unreported, ranging from verbal abuse in the street and the workplace through muggings, beatings and rape.

‘Perhaps worst of all is the attitude of many government agencies, many of which seem unconcerned at the extent of transphobic crimes. This has the result of enabling the rates of these crimes to escalate, because they send the message to the general population that it’s acceptable to display such prejudices – even against members of the authorities themselves.’

In April transgender woman Michelle Demishevich was attacked in an incident that she believes was to intimidate her into not testifying at a trial over an earlier attack.

Exploiting Trans* People in the Media: Yellow Journalism?

World English Dictionary

yellow journalism
n
the type of journalism that relies on sensationalism and lurid exaggeration to attract readers http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/yellow+journalism

Yellow journalism, or the yellow press, is a type of journalism that presents little or no legitimate well-researched news and instead uses eye-catching headlines to sell more newspapers.  Techniques may include exaggerations of news events, scandal-mongering, or sensationalism.  By extension, the term yellow journalism is used today as a pejorative to decry any journalism that treats news in an unprofessional or unethical fashion.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_journalism

Did Magic Johnson get HIV from a Transsexual Hooker? Gawker Will Pay for Tips On This

Thursday, 12 July 2012 15:08
Written by Sergio N. Candido

http://www.southfloridagaynews.com/news/national-news/6591-did-magic-johnson-get-hiv-from-a-transsexual-hooker-gawker-will-pay-for-tips-on-this.html

PBS’s Frontline premiered its latest documentary “AIDS in Black America,” on July 10, and NBA legend Magic Johnson, one of the most popular people to ever contract the disease,  was a part of it.

So Magic was asked the question he’s always been asked—how he got HIV—and he gave the same answer he has always given: “Sleeping with a lot of women.”

Gawker’s AJ Daulerio, however, writes that years back, a source told him Johnson might have actually gotten HIV not from a woman, but most likely during an infamous sex party at Eddie Murphy‘s mansion, where transsexual hookers were often involved.

The source wanted cash to go on the record, and the website didn’t have enough of it. But things have changed, and Gawker is now ready to write some checks: “If anyone has any more information about who gave Magic Johnson HIV, please feel free to contact us. I think we can afford to pay more money for this now,” Daulerio writes.

Zach Sire, editor of gay website the Sword, came out with guns blazing against Daulerio and his offer, calling him “dumb” and “sleazy.”

“If there’s one group of people whom you can trust with ‘information,’ it’s prostitutes and transexuals from orgies that happened over 20 years ago,” he writes in a sarcastic tone.

“A.J. Daulerio’s naivety has precluded him from realizing that even if he did receive proof of who gave Magic Johnson HIV publishing that person’s name would be illegal.”

We’re not sure what he meant by ‘illegal,’ you might get sued, but you can’t go to jail for publishing the name of someone who came forward and said he/she gave Magic Johnson HIV.

My Comments:

It is appalling to offer monetary compensation for revealing who exposed an individual to a chronic and likely terminal illness.   That person is not only sick themselves, but may be deceased.  Furthermore,  it is unconscionable to sensationalize a story by exploiting an entire class of already oppressed human beings.  Some—not all—transgender and transsexual  women are sometimes forced into sex work as a last resort, in order to survive—sometimes in order to feed their children— just as cisgender women are.   Headlines such as the one for this article serve to reinforce stereotypes about trans women.  Finally, focusing on the behavior of prostitutes (oppressed women) instead of on that of their customers (in this case, privileged men of great wealth) who are using their male and monied privilege to take advantage of these women  is pure misogyny; exploiting the possibility that these women may have been trans* is misogynistic and transphobic and is inexcusable in a “gay” publication.  Many of my trans* friends support LGB people without reservation; I, however, am beginning to agree with those who doubt that LGB people in general truly have the best interest of trans* people at heart and am beginning to believe that they are merely including/using trans* people in the LGBT “community” (and I use the word “community” loosely, if not sarcastically) purely to increase their numbers.

Questions:

1.  What do you think of the headline for this article?  Based on the 2 definitions of “yellow journalism” provided above, do you you think this article is an example of yellow journalism?  Why or why not”?

2.  Do you think trans* people should “secede” from the LTB movement and focus on needs specific to trans* people?  Why or why not?

A Deafening Silence

A Deafening Silence

Posted on Alexandra BillingsHuffington Post blog on July 10, 2012
Thank you to Suzan for making me aware of this post on her blog Women Born Transsexual

It was our second date, and he was just as kind and just as funny as he’d been the week before. Dan wasn’t the best looking guy in the room, but he knew his way around a joke, and he never ask me to pay for dinner. I was hooked.

He was a big guy, over six feet tall, blonde hair, and had beautiful hazel eyes. We bumped into each other at the local grocery store one afternoon after I accidentally threw myself under his shopping cart. Since that time, we’d gone to a movie and been to dinner. Our second date was to take place at his apartment where he was going to fix his famous homemade pizza. I’ve never been a big pizza fan, but I liked Dan, and I’d only been transitioning for a few years and at that time, any date was a great date. As long as there wasn’t any wacky sexual expectations, or signs of psychotic mania in the hallway, I was in. I was twenty two, and already completely and utterly desperate.

I was never one of those people in my community who lived a lie. I was Transgender and was never ashamed of it. After a suicide attempt at 16, when I finally found my Trans brothers and sisters, it was the first real breath I’d taken. I felt a huge weight lift off me, and every voice that told me I was insane, or wrong, or headed straight to Hell, was squelched. So I never went around pretending my past didn’t exist. I never purposely deceived people. I wanted to live in this new body I was constructing because for the first time in my life, my reflection was starting to match my spirit. I couldn’t have been happier, and I wanted to tell the world about it.

And so Dan was fully aware of what I was, where I came from, and where my heart was, and he was fine with it.

“I see you. All I know is what I see.”

He told me that within the first twenty minutes, which is why I said yes to the homemade pizza thing. I figured I’d found someone true and someone pure, and I wanted desperately to live with it for as long as he’d let me. And I’d do what I could to keep it going. And that included choking down cooked dough and tomato sauce.

We were sitting on his couch with the Chicago skyline blinking behind us and some Melissa Manchester blaring in the background. We sipped wine, chatted, and as the evening wore on, I suggested we see each other the next week. It was getting late, and taking the El past ten at night was always risky. Dan then looked me in the eye and took my hand:

“I want you to stay.” He said softly.

“Next time.” I said firmly.

I moved him aside and headed for the front door and my coat that was hanging on the brown, three-pronged hat rack in his hallway.

Suddenly, and without warning, I felt his hand on my shoulder.    He turned me quickly toward him, and kissed me. The kiss was hard and almost painful. He then put his hands around my waist and pulled me toward him. I tried to get free, but the more I struggled, the tighter his grip became. My heart began to race in a way I’d never felt before, and my body went into a hyper-speed panic that I felt in the pit of my stomach. I knew I was in terrible, terrible trouble.

I put my hand on his thigh, and as he began to slowly release me, I balled up my fist, and hit him square in the groin. He jumped back in pain, and I turned toward the door, sweating and crying. My voice was stuck in me somehow. I couldn’t seem to scream, and my breath became shallow and deep. I also couldn’t really think. I saw the doorknob, but turning it became almost impossible. And as my hand reached for the sleeve of my coat, I was whisked back into the living room, and fell flat on my back. I landed inches from the coffee table, still clinging onto my coat. Dan’s eyes were red and huge and they glared at me with a rage and an anger that filled up the room. As I wriggled and tried to squirm away, before I knew it, he was on top of me, pinning down my wrists and spreading my thighs. And as he came close to me again, with his mouth near my neck, he felt between my legs, and popped his head up:

“You…?!” was all I heard.

His breath got hotter and closer to me, and he flipped me over on my stomach and began tearing at my dress.

I was raped that night.

I never went to the police and I never told another living soul. None of my friends knew, no one I worked with, and no family member ever found out. I kept this in me for almost 20 years. It was 1983, and being what I was, was not only against the law in Illinois, it was unheard of. I remember once, a girlfriend of mine was being chased by her boyfriend who was coming at her with a kitchen knife, and when she found a parked police car; out of breath and near hysterics, told them what she was running from, and the two cops laughed and told her to “act like a man.” So, I knew deep down that going to the police was useless.

In Sweden, where gay marriage is legal and where they lead the world in the pursuit of gay rights and gay legislation, a Transgender woman was raped in front of her apartment complex. The attacker, however, was charged with assault, because the judge claimed that:

“We believe that he wanted to rape… this woman. But as she proved to be a man, his plan [would] never have been possible.”

The judge concluded that the rape was “invalid” because the victim was anatomically a male. Instead, the perpetrator was convicted of assault and will pay just over $2,000 in damages to the woman.

I don’t know the answer to where it is we belong as a community. We’re the “T” on the end of LGBT, and we’re liars when we try and blend into a meeting of feminists. We’re standing on the outside of a lot of windows, and no one’s really championing for us to come in and tell our story. And in our own world, with our own people, there are Transgender men and women who proclaim their gender as the one given to them by whatever doctor they’ve written checks to. If we’re confused about where to go, and who we are, how can we expect the mainstream of society not to be either?

Whatever the answer is, on the way to finding it, on the way to trying to live with each other and be with each other, we have to stand our ground and we have to do it with assurance and power. But we can’t do it alone. We need help. We need other people. And we desperately need each other.

I was raped. I was raped and it took me years to figure out that it wasn’t my fault, that I wasn’t to blame, and that it wasn’t my shame I was carrying around. Whatever it is anyone thinks of me, I was raped. We’ve taken huge steps in the last couple of decades. We’re here and we’re noticed, and we matter. I feel that. I love my community. I’m proud of who we are and where we’re headed, but I sometimes feel that when I step outside my own front door, I’m truly on my own. My country doesn’t have my back.

And as a world — a world of change and newness and brilliance — if we continue to keep our own prejudices and ignorance in the forefront of our jurisdiction and societal laws, we’ll eventually find our compassion and kindness will suffer. And soon, without warning and with total conviction, the silence around us will be deafening.  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/alexandra-billings/a-deafening-silence_1_b_1662968.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voices

RatFems on Pussy Patrol at RatFest 2012!

rat  (răt)
n.

1.

a.  Any of various long-tailed rodents resembling mice but larger, especially one of the genus Rattus.
b.  Any of various animals similar to one of these long-tailed rodents.

2.   Slang

a.   A despicable person, especially one who betrays or informs upon associates.
b.   A scab laborer.

3.   A pad of material, typically hair, worn as part of a woman’s coiffure to puff out her own hair.

Note:  I posted part of this as a comment on Suzan’s blog Women Born Transsexual back in May.

Dear Ratfesters,

I am a cisgender woman.  I don’t give a rat’s ass whether YOU like the word “cisgender” or not—it’s how I identify MYSELF, and I don’t accept other people’s labels.   But how will you know… for sure…  that I am a cisgender woman  if I show up one if your Ratfests?

Does the RatFest Pussy Patrol plan to inspect my body to make sure I have the “right” genitals.  Or perhaps do DNA testing to make sure I have 2 X chromosomes?  Or maybe look  for scars to make sure I’ve not had GRS? Still, how will you know… FOR SURE?

What if I have Klinefelter’s Syndrome (47, XXY, or XXY syndrome) in which a person is typically considered “male” but who may have 2, 3 or even 4 X chromosomes (and at least 1 but up to 5 Y chromosomes) and whose secondary sex characteristics can be ambiguous?  How about de la Chapelle syndrome (also called XX male syndrome), in which I may have male genitalia but an XX karyotype?  With either of those disorders I’d have 2 X chromosomes.  Wouldn’t having 2 X chromosomes make me a woman?  Maybe I have Swyer syndrome (XY gonadal dysgenesis)—with what appears to be a female body but without breast development (because I have no ovaries, although I do have a uterus), with an XY karyotype.   Having a uterus… wouldn’t that make me a woman?  Alternatively, I could have androgen insensitivity syndrome, in which I may also have the appearance of a woman but the XY karyotype of a male.  If I look like a woman, wouldn’t THAT make me a woman? If you only count X chromosomes you’d be in trouble if I have Turner Syndrome, in which a female has only 1 chromosome (an X).  Tell me, would I be a man because I only have 1 X chromosome or a woman because I have no Y chromosome?  If I am a woman would you be defining me by what I look like or by the lack of a Y chromosome?   Wait!  Lack of a Y chromosome… wouldn’t that be defining a woman based on something she lacks?!!!  I could really add to your trouble if I have Turner mosaicism, in which the other X chromosome is missing in some cells but not in others!  I suppose you’d become even more confused if I had Triple X (Trisomy X), Quadruple X (Tetrasomy X, 48 or XXXX), or XXXXX Syndrome (Pentasomy X, 49 or XXXXXX) in which I would have 3, 4 or 5 X chromosomes, respectively.  Ho,  hum.  

Intersex conditions can also result from 5-alpha-reductase deficiency (a genetic mutation affecting hormones necessary for the development of male genitalia, XY karyotype only, may also present with female genitalia) or  aphallia (congenital malformation in which the penis or clitoris is absent; XX or XY karyotype); Addison’s Disease (a rare, chronic endocrine disorder in which the adrenal glands do not produce sufficient steroid hormones, resulting in enlarged clitoris and shallow vagina or ambiguous genitalia in girls);  Fraser Syndrome (an autosomal recessive congenital disorder that results in a micropenis in a boy or an abnormally enlarged clitoris in a girl);  acquired clitoromegaly (abnormal enlargement of the clitoris, which, in an adult woman,  is generally due to endocrine hormonal imbalance such as that seen in polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS);  progestin-induced virilisation (fetal masculinization of female external genitalia due to pre-natal exposure to androgenic steroids); 17-beta-hydroxysteroid dehydrogenase deficiency (a rare genetic disorder that affects testosterone biosynthesis and produces  impaired virilization of genetically male infants and children and excessive virilization of female adults, which can result in ambiguous external genitalia or complete female external genitalia at birth, regardless of karyotype); congenital adrenal hyperplasia (any of several genetic disorders that result in the excessive or deficient production of sex steroids, which can cause ambiguous external genitalia and/or alter the development of primary or secondary sex characteristics); penile agenesis (a birth defect in which a boy is born without a penis, often as a consequence of testicular agenesis); or tetragametic chimerism (the fertilization of a male and a female nonidentical twin ovum in a very early phase of development results in a mixture of tissues; chromosomal karyotypes will be male in some parts of the body and female in others; most chimeras composed of both male and female cells probably do not have an intersex condition, as often most or all of the cells of a single cell type will be composed of a single cell line, i.e. the blood may be composed prominently of one cell line, and the internal organs of the other cell line, so if the sex organs are homogeneous, the individual will not be expected to exhibit any intersex traits; may present with ambiguous genitalia, or both male and female genitalia in rare form of intersexuality formerly known as “true hermaphroditism“).

Would female genitalia make me a woman?  How about the lack of a penis?  Lack of testicles?  Lack of facial and body hair?  The presence of ovaries?   Breasts?  And how would you define me if my genitals are ambiguous or if I have both male and female genitalia—if I’m intersex?  Is it determined by how I was raised?  Is that fair—that some male doctor may have made a bad judgement call and labeled me a “boy” and my parents, not knowing any better raised me as a boy “because the doctor said so” but I’ve always known that I was a girl?

So… will the Ratfest Pussy Patrol require me to strip off all my clothes, or what?  Or  does the Ratfest Pussy Patrol plan to check my chromosomes?  You Ratfesters may have to check various parts of my body.  You might need to examine my body VERY closely.  And how are you going to know… FOR SURE?   Maybe my clit is really a dick.  Or maybe my clit is enlarged to the point where it is mistaken for a dick.  I could be a trans woman who just wants to expose myself to you or I could be a cisgender lesbian with the hottest body you’ve ever seen!  If you took that last sentence seriously, you really are a transphobic bitch.

You RatFems make me prefer to deal with ignorant, homophobic, christian fundamentalist bigots—at least they’re not hypocritical liars and are consistent with their ignorance and hate.  Who died and left you in charge of the dictionary and the right to define what a “woman” is and is not?  Who gave you the right to make arbitrary decisions to exclude people you don’t like, based on stigma, blatantly false information and flat out hate and ignorance?  Who gave you the right to lie about being inclusive of trans women when there are digital records of you stating otherwise?

There is no doubt that men have historically marginalized women. But women are also oppressed due to gender identity, race, religion, social class, perceived attractiveness, sexual orientation, and ability. No one is equal until all are equal, including trans women.  You RatFems call yourself feminists?  Ha!  My father—who hurls the words “liberal” and “feminist” at me as though they are bad things, lol, but with the vitriol usually reserved when people use slurs—is more of a feminist than you are because he believes in equal rights for all human beings.

Trans women are WOMEN.  If you RatFems pulled your heads out of your asses, took some time to educate yourselves on the subject, opened your minds and got to KNOW some transgender women, you’d know that.

There is a special place in hell for women who oppress and marginalize other women.  Have a WONDERFUL day.

Who—Or WHAT—Are the RatFems?

rat  (răt)
n.

1.

a. Any of various long-tailed rodents resembling mice but larger, especially one of the genus Rattus.
b. Any of various animals similar to one of these long-tailed rodents.
2.   Slang
a. A despicable person, especially one who betrays or informs upon associates.
b. A scab laborer.
3.   A pad of material, typically hair, worn as part of a woman’s coiffure to puff out her own hair.  http://www.thefreedictionary.com/rat

Who are the RatFems?  They call themselves “Radical Feminists.” On one of their blogs, the RatFems state, “We are female-identified, women-born women and are collectively anti-pornography, anti-prostitution, trans-critical, and PIV-critical.”  For anyone who doesn’t know, “PIV” stands for “penis in vagina.” Yes,  for real!  I am 100% serious!)   (http://radicalhub.com/about/)

My immediate reaction to this is to call bullshit because I think the RatFems are a bunch of self-serving, man-hating, bigoted wannabes who are so resentful of other people’s power that they take it out on other oppressed groups by trying to rob them of power (which, by the way, is a classic example of zero-sum thinking—the way men tend to conceptualize power, while women’s conceptualization of power tends to be non-zero-sum) but I am going to approach this in an organized, logical, non-emotional, rational manner (and I promise not to accuse anyone of assaulting me! 😉 ) 

Feminism, by definition, is:

…a collection of movements aimed at defining, establishing, and defending equal political, economic, and social rights for women.  In addition, feminism seeks to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment.   A feminist is “an advocate or supporter of the rights and equality of women.”  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Feminism)

Feminists are concerned about equal rights for women.  The RatFems do not support equal rights for trans women, therefore, by definition, the RatFems are not feminists.

Radical feminism, by definition, is

…a current perspective within feminism that focuses on the theory of patriarchy as a system of power that organizes society into a complex of relationships based on the assertion that male supremacy oppresses women. Radical feminism aims to challenge and overthrow patriarchy by opposing standard gender roles and oppression of women and calls for a radical reordering of society.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_feminism)

Blah, blah, blah.  Okay.  Radical feminists focus on the overall dynamic of patriarchy and challenging gender roles.  The RatFems may or may not be “radical” but the  RatFems are still not feminists.

Separatist feminism, by definition, is “a form of radical feminism that holds that opposition to patriarchy is best done through focusing exclusively on women and girls.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separatist_feminism)  RatFest and the RatFems’ statement in their blog (quoted above)  about who they are should be clear indications of exclusive focus on women and girls. So it would appear that the RatFems may be “radical” and that they are “separatists”… but the RatFems are not “feminists!”

Lesbian separatism, by definition, is a form of separatist feminism specific to lesbians and:

…is posited as a key feminist strategy that enables women to invest their energies in other women, creating new space and dialogue about women’s relationships, and typically, limits their dealings with men….  In addition to advocating withdrawal from working, personal or casual relationships with men, The Furies recommended that Lesbian Separatists relate “only (with) women who cut their ties to male privilege” and suggest that “as long as women still benefit from heterosexuality, receive its privileges and security, they will at some point have to betray their sisters, especially Lesbian sisters who do not receive those benefits.”  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_separatism#Lesbian_separatism)

In  Learning from Lesbian Separatism, Bunch maintains that “in a male-supremacist society, heterosexuality is a political institution” and separatism is a way to “escape its domination.”   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lesbian_separatism#Lesbian_separatism    The RatFems cite “Sheila Jeffreys’s [sic] entire life’s work of pro-female, pro-lesbian, PIV-critical radical feminist analysis” on their blog (http://radicalhub.com/2012/06/26/carrying-a-sheila-jeffreys-sign-at-dyke-march-is-inappropriate-what/) and they had invited Jeffreys to speak at this year’s RatFest (although that didn’t work out) so the RatFems clearly see Jeffreys as a role model of sorts.  In a pamphlet that Jeffreys helped write, it is stated, “We do think… that all feminists can and should be lesbians. Our definition of a political lesbian is a woman-identified woman who does not fuck men. It does not mean compulsory sexual activity with women.”  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sheila_Jeffreys

“Female-identified” seems to be code for “lesbian;”  the RatFems appear to be “radical,” they are apparently “lesbian”and they are “separatists”)… BUT the RatFems are still not “feminists!”

Historically, radical feminists opposed pornography and prostitution,  so that is consistent with how the RatFems describe themselves.  However, Ellen Willis cautioned against making alliances with the political right on these issues, which is quite ironic because the RatFems—with their vitriolic hatred and misogynistic stereotyping of trans women—look and sound just like the rabid right-winger KKKristian fundamentalist bigots we all love to hate.

Misogyny, by definition is:

…the hatred, dislike, or mistrust of women or girls.  According to feminist theory, misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women….    Traditional feminist theorists describe many different attitudes as misogyny.  According to feminists, in its most overt expression, a misogynist will openly hate all women simply because they are female….   In feminist theory other forms of misogyny may be less overt.   Some misogynists may simply be prejudiced against all women, or may hate women who do not fall into one or more acceptable categories.   “Though most common in men, misogyny also exists in and is practiced by women against other women or even themselves….” (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Misogyny)

Wow.  Discrimination against trans women is misogyny.  (Who woulda thought?)   And, since the RatFems make no secret about their discrimination against trans women, the Ratfems practically brag about being misogynists. The RatFems do a great disservice to everyone.  They exemplify the stereotype that all feminists are lesbians and all lesbians are man-hating bull-dykes who want to be (or think they are) MEN.  If the RatFems discriminate against trans women (who one could say have a disability, i.e., they were born with a medical birth defect that resulted in them being raised the wrong gender and it requires medical treatment), who else are they oppressing and discriminating against?  In addition to gender identity, (and apparently sexual orientation)—categories the RatFems don’t seem concerned with—other radical feminists recognize other categories of oppression  including:   race, social class, perceived attractiveness,  and ability, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Radical_feminism) and in light of more recent events, I would also be concerned about oppression based on ethnicity, color, religion, culture and national origin as well, to name a few.  Do the RatFems care about any categories besides the ones their privileged few belong to?  Do they recognize and acknowledge their own privilege (white, Judeo-Christian, American, cisgender, for example) in our society?   Somehow, I doubt it.

The RatFems are radical, lesbian separatists who believe in equal rights for women who are like them and if someone is not like them, that person’s very existence is a threat because it brings into question the validity of how the RatFems are living their own lives.   If you’re not a lesbian and/or you “do dick,” you’re out.  If your definition of pornography doesn’t match theirs and you aren’t against it and all forms of prostitution, you’re out.  If you don’t clearly identify yourself as a woman 100% of the time (using a binary gender system) or you were not born and raised as a female child OR you recognize trans women as human beings and women who were born with a medical condition that has been or is being corrected medically, you are out.  If you don’t agree 100% with THEIR agenda, YOU ARE OUT.  Sounds controlling, huh?  Sounds a lot like straight, white, cisgender men to me.  The RatFems are NOT Radical Feminists. The RatFems are misogynists. 

Who—Or WHAT—Are the RatFems?

The RatFems are Radical Fauxminists.

Where is the Pride?

Image

I returned from the 10th Annual St. Pete Pride Street Festival & Promenade on Saturday feeling disappointed, sad and a bit angry.  The parade normally starts at 9 a.m. and the street festival goes until 3 p.m.; I usually get home between 2:30 and 3:30.   I was home on Saturday before 11:15 and I’m not sure I was even there for the entire parade. 

Let me begin by saying that I hadn’t felt well for several days. I have a few medical conditions that had been making me feel like crap lately, and for some reason, the heat has been bothering me more than usual, making me feel weak, lethargic, and nauseated.  I haven’t been sleeping well, and although I set my alarm clock to wake me early enough to give me plenty of time to make it to the staging area by the 8:30 a.m. deadline, my alarm clock didn’t wake me and I woke up 45 minutes late. 

So, I’m running VERY late—I have 45 minutes to get up, take a shower, get dressed, grab what I need and get to the meeting place on time and I have to take a shower because my hair is filthy and disgusting.  My daughter and I have been talking about marching in this Pride parade for this whole past year (she missed the past 2 years because she was in the hospital) and I was really looking forward to going with her, but I had to be a responsible parent and take the privilege away despite how I felt….  Needless to say, I wasn’t as excited about going this year, and didn’t lay out my clothes, etc., the night before, so I ended up wearing my bright pink “Love is a Human Right” t-shirt instead of my tie-dyed rainbow colored “St. Pete Pride” one, only because I knew where that one was.   Anyway, I ran out of the house before putting all the hair elastics in my hair (arranged in rainbow order) and without the one Diet Coke I allow myself each day—my daily allotment of caffeine—which,  had I not rushed off without it, probably would have made me feel at least a little bit better.  I did remember to grab my water (pre-frozen the night before, but removed from the freezer at some ungodly hour that morning… it was only cool and tasted gross), my camera, and batteries for the camera, and set the security alarm before leaving.

As I pulled out of my driveway, I glanced at the car radio clock:  8:30.  Crap!  The message I got the night before said that  in order to march in the parade, I would need to be there by 8:30.  (I had decided months ago—and my daughter agreed—that I wanted to march with a trans* group in the parade.  A month or more ago I asked my only local Facebook friend who I am aware is trans* about groups that may be marching in this year’s parade but it turned out that she was going to be marching with another non-trans* group.  A week ago, I finally located a trans* group in the area that would be marching—Trans*Action Florida, Florida’s only state level trans* advocacy organization—but they didn’t see my post until days later, the night before the parade.)

All morning—when I hadn’t been telling myself that maybe it would be better if I skipped the parade and just stayed in bed, that is—I’d been wondering whether maybe it just wasn’t meant to be for me to march in the parade this year  and wondered whether I should just stop rushing, take my time, go to the parade and enjoy myself.  But I had been looking forward to this all year and was afraid that I’d regret it if I didn’t at least try.  Naturally, consistent with the kind of day I’d been having so far, I drove right past the place I’d planned on parking, looked around, realized that parking in other places looked pretty limited, so I drove all the way around the block and parked.  Then I trudged the 1/2 mile or so to the meeting place, crossing streets safely but sometimes against traffic lights.  It was considerably after 8:30 but I thought, “WTF?” and decided to try to find the group, with the hope that I would still be allowed to march with them.

Surprisingly enough, I found the Trans*Action Florida group right away, which was an amazing stroke of luck, considering that the past 2 years I walked around for 1/2 hour or more searching for the groups I was planning on marching with in the parade.  Then came the hard part—walking up to the group and introducing myself.  I did it, getting that “Who is that cis woman and WTF is she doing here with us?” look from several people—I walked up to a very tall beautiful woman who I will call “A” and she introduced me to the Executive Director of Trans*Action Florida.  I was even able to  awkwardly but intelligibly converse with a few people and mentioned my blog and the trans* groups I am involved with on Facebook.  “A” gave me her card, “so you can email me,” she said, and told me I could search for her by name on Facebook.  And I will do exactly that… once I finish this becoming-longer-and-more-unwieldy-by-the-minute post.

Maybe it was my general discomfort in social situations.  Maybe it was the fact that I knew absolutely no one in a brand-new group of people.  Maybe it was the fact that everyone else there obviously knew each other.  Maybe it was the fact that I was introduced to the rest of the group as an “ally” (read: “outsider”.)  Maybe it was because Trans*Action Florida is headed by a trans man and it “feels” as though the organization is very male-dominated.  Maybe it was because I missed my daughter and my trans* friends and wished they were there with me.   And maybe the fact that I felt physically ill made it all worse.  Likely it was some combination of several of these factors that made me feel, as usual, that I did not belong—that I was, once more, on the outside looking in.

Then there was the parade itself.  I read somewhere that up to 100,000 people were expected at this year’s Pride event.  Well, marching in the parade, there seemed to be considerably fewer spectators than last year and the year before, and the few protesters seemed louder.  Disappointment.  The parade itself seemed fragmented.  Our group fell far behind (as did others in the groups that followed us) and people were wandering out  into the street in front of us.  And although the appearance of our group was often greeted with resounding applause, the fracturing of the parade seemed to reflect divisiveness in the LGBT community and the feeling of being “cut off from the rest” seemed analogous to how the “T” in “LGBT” is often “cut off”, i.e., left out and/or ignored.  Sadness.

Finally, at some point while our section of the parade paused, someone came out of the crowd and took a picture of “A.”  Now don’t get me wrong—”A” is a beautiful woman. She has gorgeous red hair (one of the other women told her to be sure that everyone knows that it is her hair—not a wig!) and was wearing a nice dress.  BUT, “A” is not a man, was not dressed in drag and moreover did not look like a man dressed in drag, and it made me angry to see “A” being treated like a freak at the circus.  Perhaps the photographer was a friend of “A’s”.  This incident was a perfect example of how many cisgender people can treat trans* people like freaks without even being aware of doing so…  and it made me mad.  DisgustedAngryOutraged.

Where is the Pride?  Where is the Pride when trans* people are included in the LGBTQQIAAP alphabet soup in name only?  Where is the Pride when trans* people are discriminated against in every aspect of human life in our society?  Where is the Pride when trans* people— human beings—are  gawked at, whispered about, laughed at and otherwise treated like freaks at a circus?  Where is the Pride when trans* people are teased, ridiculed, humiliated,  bullied, tormented, tortured, beaten, raped and murdered and their bodies dismembered,  mutilated beyond recognition and burned… to the point  that identification of what remains of their corpses requires comparison to dental records and/or DNA analysis?  I looked around and I couldn’t find it among the signs that read, “I Love My Gay Son,”  “This Vietnam Vet Supports Gay Marriage,” “I Love My Gay Friend,” “I Love My Lesbian Daughter,” “gay” this and “gay” that.  I don’t see any of those things as “self-affirming” or worthy of celebration; in fact, they only serve to perpetuate the shame and social stigma associated with being a TG/TS person in our culture.   As a supporter of the trans* community I felt invisible; I cannot begin to imagine how trans* people must have felt at a festival that is supposed to be celebrating their uniqueness and inclusion in  an L-G-B-T “community.”

On this note and in this lousy frame of mind I watched a few minutes of the parade go by and then realized that I felt too sick to stick around any longer, so I started heading towards my car.  Because of all the disjointedness and gaps in the parade, I’m not sure whether or not  I saw all of it before I got into my car and drove home.

RadFems: Predators, Not Prey

Yes, the following transphobic garbage was really posted in a blog called Pretendbians: Exactly Like Lesbians, Except Not.  The inflammatory language has been highlighted in red to illustrate the vitriolic hate espoused by the so-called radical feminists (RadFems) towards transgender/transsexual people, particularly towards trans womenFeminism, by definition, defends the equal  political, economic, and social rights for women.  Trans women are WOMEN, so in my opinion the RadFems are not “feminists” at all, but a bunch of hate-filled bigots appropriating a pseudo-feminist, misogynistic agenda to bully, oppress, disenfranchise, discriminate against and harm other women.  They claim to fear becoming the prey of TG/TS women if TG/TS women are permitted in woman-only space but I believe that the RadFems are themselves predators, preying on a primary weakness of TG/TS women—the fear that they are not or are not perceived as being “real” womenand that is unconscionable.  Perhaps this behavior on the part of RadFems is a manifestation of Anna Freud‘s identification with the aggressor (in this case, men); in any case, it is wrong and must stop.

“There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”
Madeleine Albright

So, If You React to Feminists Like You are “Mentally Ill,” Are We Supposed to Ignore that? Just Checking.

Posted on June 29, 2012 by bugbrennan |

Do you really expect civil discourse after attacking trans women so viciously?  How do you expect us to react [when] you call us mentally ill?
 socialistexan

Gender Identity Disorder is very much a mental illness. It causes people to:

hate their own bodies up to and including a strong urge to cut off perfectly normal, perfectly healthy body parts, take dangerous hormones, etc.; 

— be virulently jealous of people who have the body-type they wish they had or think they “ought” to have;

— be completely, self-indulgently, vociferously irrational about the simple facts of reproductive biology, unlike 99.8% of the rest of adult human beings (e.g. demanding that others agree that their penis is “really female” and that their male body is “really a lesbian’s body”, etc.);

— based on my observations, GID also causes people to engage in  histrionic manipulation, to engage in obsessive behaviors (e.g. stalking people who reject them sexually, relentlessly following people on-line that they “hate”, spending thousands of hours over a period of decades endlessly obsessing over “gender” presentation) and to exhibit extremely poor impulse control, for example, lashing out with virulent death wishes or threatening/attempting suicide when socially thwarted, and entering into dangerous sex-work, drug abuse, drinking binges, homelessness, etc. rather than successfully adjusting their life-style to fit in with the basic parameters of the working world — a world that millions of (for example) lesbians, bisexuals and gay men manage to negotiate successfully despite our differences from the expected social “norm”.

GID also appears to present with the co-morbidity of clinical depression in a high percentage of cases.

I do occasionally indulge in some snarkiness on the subject, but this is after a couple of years of being stalked in real life, being threatened and abused on-line for stating the facts about human biology, being told to drink bleach, slit my own throat, die in a fire, get raped to death, etc. by “trans” whacktivists and their hand-maidens. I think I’ve earned the right to a bit of snark.

However, saying “‘cis woman’ is hate-speech formulated to use against women by a ‘trans woman’ who coined it to denigrate us and appropriate the word ‘woman’ from us” and “men can not be female nor can they be lesbians and they should accept their reproductive sex and leave lesbians alone” is not vicious. These are the facts and I will always, always speak the truth.

So tell me, am I the only one seeing RED after reading that trash?

On the Outside Looking In or On the Inside Looking Out?

 As I am cisgender, once again this is written from a cisgender perspective, with me sharing my own real experiences with real transgender people.  Cisgender readers may appreciate this because they will be able to relate to the cisgender perspective and this may serve to normalize their thoughts and feelings.  Some transgender people may become angry when they read about some of the thoughts, feelings and behaviors I have chosen to share.  But, in the interest of  increasing awareness of transgender issues and transphobia, and creating more understanding between transgender and cisgender people, I am willing to be completely honest about some past behaviors that I am not proud of.

Photobucket

Pre-Facebook

Philadelphia Lesbian & Gay Task Force

In the first 50 years of my life, I actually knew several transgender people.  CORRECTION:  I knew several people who I was aware were transgender because I was told that they were.  I did not personally examine their genitals nor did I personally discuss this issue with them.  I was introduced to (but cannot say I “knew”) Kate Bornstein, who has been well-known in the transgender community for decades; this was back in the 1980s when I was doing volunteer work for the Philadelphia Lesbian & Gay Task Force (PLGTF).  I took a picture of her at a protest in Philadelphia, but I seem to have misplaced it.  Click here to view Kate’s blog.

Kate Bornstein (recent picture)

 

I spent an afternoon with another transgender woman at a protest organized by the PLGTF; I vaguely recall her mentioning her gender status to me (I already knew) but I clearly remember my discomfort and not knowing what to say to her.   CONTINUE…

Daphne

Originally posted as a note in Facebook on Wednesday, May 16, 2012 at 5:14pm ·

I am writing my “Being Transgender” series of notes for my intelligent and open-minded Facebook friends–those who do not live their lives in terms of prejudice and stereotypes–who may be curious about gender and transgender issues and what it means to be transgender and are interested in the experiences of transgender people but are too polite and civilized to ask.

If this applies to you, read on. If it does not, do not read this note and by all means, keep your ignorant comments to yourself  because I will not allow ANYONE to insult my transgender friends on my page. GOT IT?  NO EXCEPTIONS… I don’t care how long we’ve been friends.  Polite, thoughtful questions and comments are welcome and I’m sure will also be appreciated by my transgender friends.

Daphne Shaed, College Student, Activist, Advocate

Daphne.  Daphne Shaed lives on beautiful Vancouver Island, Victoria, British Columbia, Canada.  Daphne is beautiful, fabulous, awesome, amazing, prodigious, fascinating and many more complimentary adjectives. If you fail to see these qualities in her, then “bugger off!” as Daphne would say.  I met Daphne on Facebook.  Continue…

“J” and Some Definitions

This was originally posted on my Facebook page as a note on Friday, April 13, 2012 at 3:14pm ·

This was written by my woman friend “J” who had the misfortune of being born with a birth defect–she was born with a body which characteristics are generally described–i.e., labeled–by society as “male.” Individuals born with this type of birth defect, including boys born with bodies characterized as “female,” in addition to other individuals whose bodies and/or minds do not meet society’s either/or “binary” concept of gender are often referred to as “transgender.”

First, some notes written by me:

Note 1:  The correct term is “transgender,” not “transgendered.”

Note 2:  While a small number of people use the word “transsexual,” they are in the minority; it is considered offensive by many and the word “transgender” is generally the appropriate word to use, if a label is necessary at all.

Note 3:  The word “tranny” is offensive and should never be used.

Note 4: A transgender person should be referred to by the gender they are–NOT by the status of their genitals.  For example, my friend “J” is a male-to-female (MTF) transgender woman–refer to her as a “woman” as you would to any other woman.  And don’t look like an idiot–use the correct pronouns!  

Note 5: Pre-op vs. Post-op.  WHO CARES?  Do you appreciate being judged or viewed as breasts or genitals?  I didn’t think so. Is the state of your genitals anyone else’s business?  So mind your own!  A woman is a woman and a man is a man and if someone defines themselves as both, neither or a third, fourth or other gender, that is also none of your business.  

Note 6:  This is a great video to watch to avoid the usual mistakes made by cisgender people (i.e, those born with bodies that conform with their genders):


Okay.  Here is J’s note:

Seven days from now I will have been admitted to ████████ Hospital for the surgery which will at last bring my physical body into line with my mind and my spirit. I and others like me have had many labels applied to us. Transsexual, Transgender, Male to Female, even Gender Bender the list goes on. Actually these days I can’t hear the term Gender Bender said or written without thinking of this:

But anyway, it doesn’t really matter to me what label is used to describe me, I’m way past worrying about it or how other people see me. I don’t really know if I would say I finally get to be the real me, because the real me has always been there. What I would say though is that I will finally get to look in a mirror and not be horrified or distraught or even sickened by the reflection looking back at me.

It has taken me a very long time to get to where I am now and to actually manage to stop feeling a sense of guilt over being so single minded that I would stop at nothing to get to where I need to be. There have been times when I thought I would never make it through, and that things had gotten to hard for me to go on. I admit that I have stared into the abyss on more than one occasion and once the abyss actually stared back.  I have a three inch vertical scar on my wrist as a reminder of the day when I subconsciously or otherwise decided that it was the only way to make the pain stop. Now I am thankful that my life didn’t end in that second and that I am still here and fighting.

For a long time, I carried the legacy of my Roman Catholic upbringing, which I now realise has held me back from being myself. I stopped being a Catholic many years ago, pretty much when I learned to assert myself with my parents. Please don’t get the impression from this that I was unhappy with my parents or thought that they didn’t love me, because that really is the furthest thing from the truth. I loved them very much, and although my mother drives me absolutely berserk at times I still love her dearly. My lovely dad has gone though, taken very young some 16 years ago now from a heart attack. I still miss him very much, and its actually made me cry thinking  about him just now. The sad thing is that he never really knew the daughter he had all along. My mother on the other hand does know me but just doesn’t want me. Hard as that is for me to deal with, I guess I have no choice but to do so.

I don’t have any particular fond memories of my teenage years, especially those at school where I was bullied for a lot of the time. I was different from those around me, there is no denying that fact. I did not fit into the miniature society that was high school in an industrial area of [an area in the UK] in the middle 1970’s. My  life at school was made hell by bullying on a daily basis. I have to say though that the physical violence which had become very much a part of my school life at the time was difficult, but it paled into insignificance when compared against the constant, insidious, psychological cruelty I faced at that time. I knew very clearly who the main perpetrators were, but there was also those who were involved for fear of being singled out themselves. If I met these people today, I can’t say that I would seek out their friendship, but neither would I wish them any harm. They, every bit  as much as me, were a product of their upbringing and environment, and although it doesn’t excuse what they did it at least goes some way to explain it.

Facebook has been blamed on more than one occasion for being an easy way for people to be bullied on line. But Facebook and other social media can have a big part to play in being part of the solution. In my darkest days in school had Facebook existed and there had been someone there like the fantastic Lyndsay Winegarden whose work with Stop Teenage Suicide is nothing short of inspirational, life despite bullying would have been slightly easier,as I would have had somewhere to turn when in fact there was no one at that time. I went to a teacher one time for help and was told to stop being such a girl. The irony of that comment stays with me today. If I could say to one person who is going through bullying in any way it would be this:  Do not ever keep it to yourself, there are good people who will help you, and you just need to find the courage to reach out to them. 

Today as I move headlong towards the big day life is good. I have many friends on Facebook who keep me going, make me laugh, and occasionally post stuff that makes me think wtf? but I wouldn’t change any of you for all of that. To all of  of the fantastic [friends] S████, Jody, E████G████C████, A████, V████, K████,L████, E████, E████, C████, K████, T████, L████ G,████. You are such fabulous ladies and together we would probably make the world sit up and go wtf 😀 And to everyone at [groupname] especially the wonderful D████ [group administrator] I just love the discussions and randomness which appear so often on the page just fabby.

And there is one lady in particular I have to make special mention of.. the gorgeous and completely wonderful Miss S████. My darling I love you unquestioningly unconditionally and without measure. You are my reason, my muse and I will be with you always my love.

And so as Sunday April 8 the Day of Oestara comes to a close for me good night to all and to all a good night. Actually why say good night twice in that sentence? I’ve never really understood that and…and.. *mutters something about stupid expressions and goes to lie down in a darkened room.

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